Yesterday's goal: QOM on Strawberry Hill. Ooooh, the pang of could-have-would-have-if-only at 1 second off from the QOM:
I think I get why I like to race - it's so much easier to set a goal and reach it than any of the others I set in life and work. Really, going hard and hurting on a hill is easier than many other things. So now to translate that kind of competitive spirit to the rest of my life... Time at this point is a major limiter and it's very frustrating to not be able to do what I need to because I can't get enough uninterrupted time to accomplish anything.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Monday, July 09, 2012
What's Your Time Worth?
Last week I was confronted with a question: how much is my time worth? The way in which the question was presented hit me between the eyes and it was relevant to the discussion. This discussion had to do with how much would it be worth to me (paid in $ off of rent) to drive an elderly man to the grocery store, to doctor appointments, etc. The concept is a good one, having the conversation was not ridiculous. However, when put to me as how much it be worth to me to make a trip, say, to the grocery store to take someone shopping, I had to close my eyes, and respectfully ask that the conversation end.
Writing this small entry has some value in that putting things on "paper" helps me form thoughts and sort through issues. However, I should be hypercritical of the time this is taking at this moment and spend my time elsewhere. 10 minutes longer, then on to the next thing.
The answer to the question: my free time, the time I don't have planned, scheduled or otherwise committed is so small it's worth a premium that isn't payable monetarily.
The answer for anyone else: It doesn't matter what a person's salary is, though a contract employee might be able to point to an hour and say it costs $100 billable to a client. Still, would it be worth $100 or even $500 to lose the last moments of relaxation in a week? It comes down to quantity of free time and how much of it there is. Free time = rejuvenation time. It's the time that allows one to do well in the rest of life. Recharging and resting is as important as pushing forward on whatever it is that one does. It's just like racing. One gets stronger during rest and recovery times, but it's the training that lets the rest feel really good (and make one stronger). No champion has ever been made out of someone who trains continuously and never takes a break.
In the real world, I'd translate this to working very, very hard and then sleeping a reasonable amount, having some non-pressured waking moments and then working very hard again. This is my ideal that I'm striving for.
Still looking to find the balance, exactly, but feeling it's a bit better now than a few weeks ago... to be continued, 10 minutes is up and it's time to read something useful.
What's your time worth? Can you put a price on it?
Writing this small entry has some value in that putting things on "paper" helps me form thoughts and sort through issues. However, I should be hypercritical of the time this is taking at this moment and spend my time elsewhere. 10 minutes longer, then on to the next thing.
The answer to the question: my free time, the time I don't have planned, scheduled or otherwise committed is so small it's worth a premium that isn't payable monetarily.
The answer for anyone else: It doesn't matter what a person's salary is, though a contract employee might be able to point to an hour and say it costs $100 billable to a client. Still, would it be worth $100 or even $500 to lose the last moments of relaxation in a week? It comes down to quantity of free time and how much of it there is. Free time = rejuvenation time. It's the time that allows one to do well in the rest of life. Recharging and resting is as important as pushing forward on whatever it is that one does. It's just like racing. One gets stronger during rest and recovery times, but it's the training that lets the rest feel really good (and make one stronger). No champion has ever been made out of someone who trains continuously and never takes a break.
In the real world, I'd translate this to working very, very hard and then sleeping a reasonable amount, having some non-pressured waking moments and then working very hard again. This is my ideal that I'm striving for.
Still looking to find the balance, exactly, but feeling it's a bit better now than a few weeks ago... to be continued, 10 minutes is up and it's time to read something useful.
What's your time worth? Can you put a price on it?
Friday, July 06, 2012
Independence
Yesterday was the 4th of July. For some reason, the 4th has always somehow stood out to me - what I was doing on that day. I remember so vividly the year when, before the fireworks were going to go off, that my mom was reading an electronics book to my brother and me. My thoughts at the time had to do with how much I despised that book. Now I wish I had listened and not wasted energy on not listening. Almost every year, I remember the evening as a warm one, one that doesn't ever seem to end and smells of BBQ. Yesterday was all of those wonderful things minus the good-smelling smoking grill. Yesterday will stand out to me for years to come. I was stoked to be out pedaling dirt trails not far from here, feeling free, happy and absolutely content with life. I need nothing more than that.
In more recent years, the "independence" part of the day has been something that means more. We're independent as people, free in most things. I frequently think about the freedoms in this life and appreciate them. I have exercised my independence a bit more than most since I graduated from college, though within responsible limits. Independence day is one more day when I really like to think about being independent. What do I do and why? There is a solidly good reason behind everything I do, as non-apparent as it may seem to others taking a look in from a distance. Purely from decisions I have made do I live. I am completely independent though it may appear very differently.
After just saying I need nothing more, I have decided to move. Would I move if I were perfectly content? What is the definition of having more? I can be content, but I can choose not to be, as well. I haven't been completely comfortable where I've lived since I moved in. Trying to pinpoint what, exactly, it is that has kept me feeling unsettled here is impossible. I wish I could explain it to my housemates. There's a good chance it's that I'm living in the suburbs, off the beaten path. I like being where people are. Truth be told, I get energy being around people but more so when I'm not part of the conversation. I like to listen as an an observer, not necessarily a contributor influencing the direction of the discussion. One the coolest things about the new place is its proximity to public transportation and a big road. It's access to Boston that I don't have now. Independence from my car is one the things I value most, though I don't actively try to rid myself of it. I just want to know I'd survive if it decided not to start one morning. Being free of stress in my personal life is pretty much the most important thing to me. I thrive on a bit of stress and adrenaline at all other times of the day. There is a place where I need to be free of that.
Back to people and the behaviors of people. I've never known so many people in my life considering computer work typically involved the same 5-10 people on any given day. Being around this many people on a daily basis is very new to me, still. It's a game to me to try to figure out when it's going to be busy at work. When will it be quiet and how do the weather patterns affect people's coffee-drinking and bike-buying interest? On the 4th of July, it was a rainy morning and usually rainy mornings mean people drink more milk-heavy drinks. But on the 4th, they were drinking more cold brew coffee than ever. Was it merely psychological, the idea that it's the 4th and therefore hot no matter the temperature outside? I'd like to know what was going on at local ice cream establishments. I know I wanted ice cream yesterday. I'm programmed.
Tomorrow morning is coming fast. I'd hoped to start the day at sunrise as most days that start at that hour (4-4:15) are my best. What's coming tomorrow? Friday and the "start" to my work week as my Fridays often feel to me the way Mondays used to. This moment in time captured, finally, time to get going on to the next thing to move forward.
In more recent years, the "independence" part of the day has been something that means more. We're independent as people, free in most things. I frequently think about the freedoms in this life and appreciate them. I have exercised my independence a bit more than most since I graduated from college, though within responsible limits. Independence day is one more day when I really like to think about being independent. What do I do and why? There is a solidly good reason behind everything I do, as non-apparent as it may seem to others taking a look in from a distance. Purely from decisions I have made do I live. I am completely independent though it may appear very differently.
After just saying I need nothing more, I have decided to move. Would I move if I were perfectly content? What is the definition of having more? I can be content, but I can choose not to be, as well. I haven't been completely comfortable where I've lived since I moved in. Trying to pinpoint what, exactly, it is that has kept me feeling unsettled here is impossible. I wish I could explain it to my housemates. There's a good chance it's that I'm living in the suburbs, off the beaten path. I like being where people are. Truth be told, I get energy being around people but more so when I'm not part of the conversation. I like to listen as an an observer, not necessarily a contributor influencing the direction of the discussion. One the coolest things about the new place is its proximity to public transportation and a big road. It's access to Boston that I don't have now. Independence from my car is one the things I value most, though I don't actively try to rid myself of it. I just want to know I'd survive if it decided not to start one morning. Being free of stress in my personal life is pretty much the most important thing to me. I thrive on a bit of stress and adrenaline at all other times of the day. There is a place where I need to be free of that.
Back to people and the behaviors of people. I've never known so many people in my life considering computer work typically involved the same 5-10 people on any given day. Being around this many people on a daily basis is very new to me, still. It's a game to me to try to figure out when it's going to be busy at work. When will it be quiet and how do the weather patterns affect people's coffee-drinking and bike-buying interest? On the 4th of July, it was a rainy morning and usually rainy mornings mean people drink more milk-heavy drinks. But on the 4th, they were drinking more cold brew coffee than ever. Was it merely psychological, the idea that it's the 4th and therefore hot no matter the temperature outside? I'd like to know what was going on at local ice cream establishments. I know I wanted ice cream yesterday. I'm programmed.
Tomorrow morning is coming fast. I'd hoped to start the day at sunrise as most days that start at that hour (4-4:15) are my best. What's coming tomorrow? Friday and the "start" to my work week as my Fridays often feel to me the way Mondays used to. This moment in time captured, finally, time to get going on to the next thing to move forward.
Sunday, July 01, 2012
Time to mow
Being that it's important to blog, albeit much more important to sleep, every time I sit down and put something on the blog, I tell myself I'll keep doing it as it's interesting to capture the moments and the thoughts of each moment. I've got to commit to writing more frequently but less. That is the challenge.
After a weekend like this one, it's hard to wind down. Saturday evening was a successful art opening at the Ride Studio Cafe with photography by Susan Margot Ecker and today was the biggest group ride/special ride at the RSC that I've seen there. It was named the Crazy 88 and people will be talking about it for a long time. Today was hot, a bit on the sweltering side. The Sul Posto served gelato at the 1/2 way point on the ride. What could possibly be better on a hot day?
Yesterday I had a flashback - to how I felt when I used to race. I remember thinking that I didn't remember what it was like to be a regular person, to have time after work to enjoy leisurely activities, to have a Saturday or Sunday to do something recreational in street clothes before 3pm. I remember how much I liked living that sort of go-go-go life and thinking how I hoped I'd never revert back to a standard, normal life.
After slowing down on racing significantly, I dove into projects, the first being my kitchen island welding project. Then came consulting night and weekend work until I started to work too much during the day and filling spare time with committee meetings, small political battles interesting to fight as a homeowner, that sort of thing. I filled every moment with work and many extracurricular activities. I squeezed some time in there for family & friends, but not a lot. All of these things consumed me, but they all went in opposite directions.
It occurred to me that the reason I'm enjoying my life here so much is that it parallels the lifestyle that I used to have for a few years when I was the happiest. It was easy to blame the happiness on all of the endorphins from working out, training, and close friends who had the same lifestyle. It's starting to be obvious that it wasn't just that. Time outside on the bike is and always will be a great source of pleasure, but there's an umbrella category under which it lies.
Now I don't have idle time ever. Every moment is packed with something and there are interesting projects around every corner. I have a hard time pulling myself away. When I do, I feel a tinge of regret at the lost time.
There are some new projects that I'm dying to work on. Right now, there's a growing list of them. Redesigning this blog and my website are on the list.
As I was thinking about this stuff, I was mowing the lawn, very standard/normal, odd. There is more mowing to be done and I need to vacuum. I'm dying to go on another long ride. Trying to remember that it wasn't that long ago that I got to do a long ride and I've ridden a few shorter rides since then. No accomplishment happens when I'm riding except that I feel great afterward. It buys me more energy to get things done. Maybe that's accomplishment alone. As I feel time flying past and I'm getting older, I feel more pressure to do some great things now as I had originally intended to do 10 years ago.
As for today, it's a matter of doing one thing at a time and trying not to feel completely overwhelmed at what has to happen be between now and tonight, coming much too soon.
After a weekend like this one, it's hard to wind down. Saturday evening was a successful art opening at the Ride Studio Cafe with photography by Susan Margot Ecker and today was the biggest group ride/special ride at the RSC that I've seen there. It was named the Crazy 88 and people will be talking about it for a long time. Today was hot, a bit on the sweltering side. The Sul Posto served gelato at the 1/2 way point on the ride. What could possibly be better on a hot day?
Yesterday I had a flashback - to how I felt when I used to race. I remember thinking that I didn't remember what it was like to be a regular person, to have time after work to enjoy leisurely activities, to have a Saturday or Sunday to do something recreational in street clothes before 3pm. I remember how much I liked living that sort of go-go-go life and thinking how I hoped I'd never revert back to a standard, normal life.
After slowing down on racing significantly, I dove into projects, the first being my kitchen island welding project. Then came consulting night and weekend work until I started to work too much during the day and filling spare time with committee meetings, small political battles interesting to fight as a homeowner, that sort of thing. I filled every moment with work and many extracurricular activities. I squeezed some time in there for family & friends, but not a lot. All of these things consumed me, but they all went in opposite directions.
It occurred to me that the reason I'm enjoying my life here so much is that it parallels the lifestyle that I used to have for a few years when I was the happiest. It was easy to blame the happiness on all of the endorphins from working out, training, and close friends who had the same lifestyle. It's starting to be obvious that it wasn't just that. Time outside on the bike is and always will be a great source of pleasure, but there's an umbrella category under which it lies.
Now I don't have idle time ever. Every moment is packed with something and there are interesting projects around every corner. I have a hard time pulling myself away. When I do, I feel a tinge of regret at the lost time.
There are some new projects that I'm dying to work on. Right now, there's a growing list of them. Redesigning this blog and my website are on the list.
As I was thinking about this stuff, I was mowing the lawn, very standard/normal, odd. There is more mowing to be done and I need to vacuum. I'm dying to go on another long ride. Trying to remember that it wasn't that long ago that I got to do a long ride and I've ridden a few shorter rides since then. No accomplishment happens when I'm riding except that I feel great afterward. It buys me more energy to get things done. Maybe that's accomplishment alone. As I feel time flying past and I'm getting older, I feel more pressure to do some great things now as I had originally intended to do 10 years ago.
As for today, it's a matter of doing one thing at a time and trying not to feel completely overwhelmed at what has to happen be between now and tonight, coming much too soon.
Monday, June 25, 2012
Just Keep Pedaling
It wasn't that long ago that I was freaked out by riding on dirt. Saturday, I was bombing down dirt roads at 45+ mph with my eyes closed.
What happened to the good ol' days of riding for hours upon hours on smooth pavement? It's been months in the making, as I've been very fortunate to have been introduced to great off-road trails not far from home and not too technical in nature. Being in the woods, lit by a headlight and surrounded by plants, trees and grasses growing over the trail wildly, is indescribably cool. Saving it for a blog another day.
The Rapha Gentlemen's Race this year was Epic with a capital E. It was all things packed into one innocent-enough looking day. I know Pamela will be blogging the full story and she'll do the story justice. I want to see what she had to say as the race was different for everyone out there.
I got invited on a tandem team, the Epic Avengers: this is a team of 6 people, with three tandems among us. I had a total of one day of prep time and considering my work schedule, that meant I didn't even have time to get to the grocery store to buy food for the race. Somehow a single load of laundry got done, but that was it.
For the first time in years, I wished I'd been training all winter & felt a bit of regret at that. I don't love being this out of shape and away from the race scene (it's by choice), but when I got an email telling me I could do this race, I almost leaped out of my bike shoes (I was on a casual bike ride at the time).
The course was 60% dirt roads for 120 miles (for those who finished). I hadn't met the pilot or tandem I'd be riding with until the night before the race. Piloting a tandem is no small job and for a course like this, experience is key.
Trust is as well. Trusting the guy who's picking the line and handling the brakes is just about the most important thing. Second most: pedal. The stoker has to help the bike go and let the pilot do his job. I promised the pilot, Todd, that I would do just that. I was told that Todd was an experienced pilot, he came with an impressive resume, but is nicknamed The Jokester. So at what point does he take things seriously? I'd have to find out.
Pamela & John, tandem partners in life (though they rode different tandems for the sake of the team this weekend) are rider extraordinaires in countless ways. I know them pretty well as we've spent hours chatting at the Ride Studio Cafe, first having met at Mt. Washington for the hillclimb last August (I was there to man the Ciclismo Classico tent but definitely not to race.) We've been able to ride some together, but nothing like what we did Saturday. Pamela has logged 9,000 miles for the year so far and takes 2 days off the bike each month or something like that. John rides like he was born on a bike. He was part of the men's winning Green Mountain Double Century team last weekend.
Dena, a friend of Pamela's and co-winner w/Pamela of the Green Mountain double century last weekend (yes, just last weekend), knows no distance barriers. She's an engine, a terrific pilot and fun to suffer with...actually, she doesn't suffer while the rest of us do. Superhuman.
Then there's Rebecca who is a relatively new cyclist compared with everyone else and was so eager to be there. I was wondering if she could comprehend the distance or dirt as I didn't know what her background were with either. She hadn't ridden a tandem until the afternoon before this race. It was impressive watching her on the back of the tandem as she and John flew down hills during the day. On command, she stood smoothly, as if she'd been a stoker her whole life. She looked fresh and happy all day long. What's even more shocking is that she was both of those things right through to the finish.
Not knowing all that much about this race as I'm new to the area and to the world of long-distance racing & this particular race, I had to get schooled on it quickly. According to Rapha:
We started on smooth pavement at 8:09am. Breakfast was at 5:30 and I'm happy to report I was wide awake and ready to go early. Adrenaline is powerful, though I felt most of my pre-race jitters the day before. No coffee for me until a minute before the start when the Rapha espresso machine was serving up very tasty shots.
The whole ride up until mile 60 or so was fun, beautiful, the dirt sections were great and time flew by with the miles. Todd and I had a couple of early mechanical problems with the chain jumping into the spokes. We got that fixed on a nice uphill section. An extra section we threw in as we'd gone off course, taking us down a screaming descent just to learn that we had to return up that hill. Teammates Dena and Pamela had some mechanicals on their bike, at a point where we were all at separate parts of the road. Fortunately, the ladies are quite the mechanics and were able to get going again to roll into the "lunch" stop. Other than that, we didn't have a flat all day. The new Seven titanium tandem steed that John & Pamela just bought for their anniversary worked flawlessly all day long.
Climbing was fun on the tandem. Much more so than when I'm climbing alone. I think much of that had to do with my knowing that I'd get up the hill because if I couldn't do it, someone else would be able to provide the power. The riding itself never made me nervous since I knew I had someone to work with. I don't like being in on scary rides by myself. Anytime I've ever shared a stupid riding experience with someone, I feel much more at ease & fortunately, that doesn't happen often. (Sentence inserted for benefit of family members.)
Around mile 65, the weather changed. Dark clouds hovered overhead and we were climbing. It started raining. Rain isn't a big deal, though I was wondering if it'd cause mud and what that would do to the slipperiness of the roads. I'd love to say I can remember every mile of the whole ride, but I don't. Thunder and lightning freak me out like nothing else. I descended like a mad woman down Mt Evans after seeing a single bolt of lightning setting a personal best descending time...aborting the whole ride w/o a second thought. So I am not afraid to bail when safety is at stake.
To shorten the story, we were poured on and pictures weren't possible. We crested the hill as the storm reached us at the same time. The descent was very fast, wet roads didn't seem to slow us down. Later I found out how much breaking hurt Todd's hands and how miserable he was up front (not that he said it in those words as he was still in what appeared to be a good mood. I got quiet, Todd wasn't freaked out like I was as we were under trees. He said that as long as we weren't in a clearing, he wouldn't be worried. Moments later we arrived in a tree-less part of the road. Didn't take much to pedal faster than we had all day long at that point. Luckily, it didn't last long, but the rain did. Temps dropped and he was shaking badly. The stoker is protected from the elements so much more than the pilot. Finally, we arrived at a general store where they served hot chocolate. Dena treated all of us. She was the only one who really didn't need the hot chocolate as she was smiling and happy at the coolness that the rest of us would classify as cold.
Plastic garbage bags were supplied by Pamela, she made each of us a jacket. Warm, comfy, happier. At one point, John started laughing and couldn't stop, the rest of us followed suit. It was funny, but who knew why. Maybe because we looked funny! The normal people in street clothes at the store were great. I'd love to know what they thought about the freezing, wet, silly cyclists.
The rain subsided and stopped, it looked like we'd gotten out of the storm. Still milling about at the store and recuperating, we didn't treat any of the last rest stops like race ones. The first ones we'd tried to make good time in getting in & getting out. Being fast was futile toward the end. Then the thunder started up again, my heart sank when I heard it roll up. It had caught us. We got going and the rain came down again, it was significantly harder for me to keep going at that point. Again, rain isn't a problem, it's the lightning that I don't like.
Mile 85 was soon after the hot chocolate stop. Muddy, rocky, rooty, the most technically challenging off-road portion of the course was here & we'd awaited this point all day. Thanks to the garbage bag on Todd, I couldn't see anything. I just kept pedaling on cue and he got us through. There were a couple of spots where the tandem was stopped by the mud or other obstructions. I put a foot down and sank into the mud. I hadn't realized before that that we were even riding in mud. Keeping the stoker clueless is a key to success.
On we rode until the course took a turn into the heart of the storm. At that point, we stopped and took shelter under someone's garage & waited for our teammates to show up. The race director gave us an alternate route so we could avoid the storm and ride to the finish cutting some miles out. Finally, we were all back together again and we rolled to the finish easily. The sky cleared as if nothing had ever transpired in those wild, remote hills of Vermont. Upon crossing the border back into NH, Todd let Vermont know what he thought about it. We all needed him to say the things he did to shake off what we'd just been through. We were bold enough to take off the bags and relax. Pedaling on... suddenly we had 1 mile left to go (I thought we still had 10+ remaining). What a pleasant surprise!
We pulled into the parking lot 10 hours after we'd started the Epic Avenging and we were smiling almost as much as we had at the beginning of the day. It was fun. I would do it again. I hope to do it again.
According to Todd, I was "well behaved." But he assured me that since I had taken on that course and the challenge, that I wasn't one of the well-behaved women who doesn't make history.
And what did I learn about Todd? That he doesn't take anything where it comes to riding seriously except an open field with lightning overhead and the sharp turns at the bottom of steep descents. Oh, and pre-race nutrition. He was quite concerning about eating popcorn and drinking beer the night before the race. Maybe he knows something the rest of us (me) don't. He knows how to handle a bike (with my weight on it), pedal (again, with my weight on it) and keep a good disposition even when he's shivering enough and has cold enough hands that most people wouldn't be able to keep a bike going straight and fast.
There's one for history: the Rapha Gentlemen's Race 2012 is in the books. The Epic Avengers didn't officially finish, but we officially lived and had a great time on the road together. I got back in the saddle to do the hardest ride of my life after not much riding at all for the past year.
Huge thanks to all of my teammates who worked so hard for each other throughout the long day. Thank you to everyone who brought bikes & equipment (which will never be the same again after all of that mud & grit), those (Pamela!) who organized us all at the very last minute and who had faith that we could accomplish this race together though odds said there was no way we could pull it off at the last minute.
For full visuals, visit my Facebook page!
What happened to the good ol' days of riding for hours upon hours on smooth pavement? It's been months in the making, as I've been very fortunate to have been introduced to great off-road trails not far from home and not too technical in nature. Being in the woods, lit by a headlight and surrounded by plants, trees and grasses growing over the trail wildly, is indescribably cool. Saving it for a blog another day.
The Rapha Gentlemen's Race this year was Epic with a capital E. It was all things packed into one innocent-enough looking day. I know Pamela will be blogging the full story and she'll do the story justice. I want to see what she had to say as the race was different for everyone out there.
I got invited on a tandem team, the Epic Avengers: this is a team of 6 people, with three tandems among us. I had a total of one day of prep time and considering my work schedule, that meant I didn't even have time to get to the grocery store to buy food for the race. Somehow a single load of laundry got done, but that was it.
For the first time in years, I wished I'd been training all winter & felt a bit of regret at that. I don't love being this out of shape and away from the race scene (it's by choice), but when I got an email telling me I could do this race, I almost leaped out of my bike shoes (I was on a casual bike ride at the time).
The course was 60% dirt roads for 120 miles (for those who finished). I hadn't met the pilot or tandem I'd be riding with until the night before the race. Piloting a tandem is no small job and for a course like this, experience is key.
Trust is as well. Trusting the guy who's picking the line and handling the brakes is just about the most important thing. Second most: pedal. The stoker has to help the bike go and let the pilot do his job. I promised the pilot, Todd, that I would do just that. I was told that Todd was an experienced pilot, he came with an impressive resume, but is nicknamed The Jokester. So at what point does he take things seriously? I'd have to find out.
Pamela & John, tandem partners in life (though they rode different tandems for the sake of the team this weekend) are rider extraordinaires in countless ways. I know them pretty well as we've spent hours chatting at the Ride Studio Cafe, first having met at Mt. Washington for the hillclimb last August (I was there to man the Ciclismo Classico tent but definitely not to race.) We've been able to ride some together, but nothing like what we did Saturday. Pamela has logged 9,000 miles for the year so far and takes 2 days off the bike each month or something like that. John rides like he was born on a bike. He was part of the men's winning Green Mountain Double Century team last weekend.
Dena, a friend of Pamela's and co-winner w/Pamela of the Green Mountain double century last weekend (yes, just last weekend), knows no distance barriers. She's an engine, a terrific pilot and fun to suffer with...actually, she doesn't suffer while the rest of us do. Superhuman.
Then there's Rebecca who is a relatively new cyclist compared with everyone else and was so eager to be there. I was wondering if she could comprehend the distance or dirt as I didn't know what her background were with either. She hadn't ridden a tandem until the afternoon before this race. It was impressive watching her on the back of the tandem as she and John flew down hills during the day. On command, she stood smoothly, as if she'd been a stoker her whole life. She looked fresh and happy all day long. What's even more shocking is that she was both of those things right through to the finish.
Not knowing all that much about this race as I'm new to the area and to the world of long-distance racing & this particular race, I had to get schooled on it quickly. According to Rapha:
The point of Rapha’s Gentlemen's Races is to inspire a different type of racing. Being unmarshalled, unsupported and unsanctioned, there's no better way to find out if you're a true team, pulling together through the difficulties and attrition to get each other to the finish, or just six individuals racing the clock.The day started off cool, an absolutely perfect temperature with clear skies in a gorgeous part of the country (2 hrs by car north of here on the NH/VT border). We were thrilled that it didn't look like overheating would be an issue. Nor would rain. Hahahahahaha. We stayed hydrated and none of us got too hot, except for Dena who was happy when the temps dropped much lower later in the day at which time she was smiling and told us of her overheating earlier. We were shaking from the cold. I'm jumping ahead.
We started on smooth pavement at 8:09am. Breakfast was at 5:30 and I'm happy to report I was wide awake and ready to go early. Adrenaline is powerful, though I felt most of my pre-race jitters the day before. No coffee for me until a minute before the start when the Rapha espresso machine was serving up very tasty shots.
The whole ride up until mile 60 or so was fun, beautiful, the dirt sections were great and time flew by with the miles. Todd and I had a couple of early mechanical problems with the chain jumping into the spokes. We got that fixed on a nice uphill section. An extra section we threw in as we'd gone off course, taking us down a screaming descent just to learn that we had to return up that hill. Teammates Dena and Pamela had some mechanicals on their bike, at a point where we were all at separate parts of the road. Fortunately, the ladies are quite the mechanics and were able to get going again to roll into the "lunch" stop. Other than that, we didn't have a flat all day. The new Seven titanium tandem steed that John & Pamela just bought for their anniversary worked flawlessly all day long.
Climbing was fun on the tandem. Much more so than when I'm climbing alone. I think much of that had to do with my knowing that I'd get up the hill because if I couldn't do it, someone else would be able to provide the power. The riding itself never made me nervous since I knew I had someone to work with. I don't like being in on scary rides by myself. Anytime I've ever shared a stupid riding experience with someone, I feel much more at ease & fortunately, that doesn't happen often. (Sentence inserted for benefit of family members.)
Around mile 65, the weather changed. Dark clouds hovered overhead and we were climbing. It started raining. Rain isn't a big deal, though I was wondering if it'd cause mud and what that would do to the slipperiness of the roads. I'd love to say I can remember every mile of the whole ride, but I don't. Thunder and lightning freak me out like nothing else. I descended like a mad woman down Mt Evans after seeing a single bolt of lightning setting a personal best descending time...aborting the whole ride w/o a second thought. So I am not afraid to bail when safety is at stake.
To shorten the story, we were poured on and pictures weren't possible. We crested the hill as the storm reached us at the same time. The descent was very fast, wet roads didn't seem to slow us down. Later I found out how much breaking hurt Todd's hands and how miserable he was up front (not that he said it in those words as he was still in what appeared to be a good mood. I got quiet, Todd wasn't freaked out like I was as we were under trees. He said that as long as we weren't in a clearing, he wouldn't be worried. Moments later we arrived in a tree-less part of the road. Didn't take much to pedal faster than we had all day long at that point. Luckily, it didn't last long, but the rain did. Temps dropped and he was shaking badly. The stoker is protected from the elements so much more than the pilot. Finally, we arrived at a general store where they served hot chocolate. Dena treated all of us. She was the only one who really didn't need the hot chocolate as she was smiling and happy at the coolness that the rest of us would classify as cold.
Plastic garbage bags were supplied by Pamela, she made each of us a jacket. Warm, comfy, happier. At one point, John started laughing and couldn't stop, the rest of us followed suit. It was funny, but who knew why. Maybe because we looked funny! The normal people in street clothes at the store were great. I'd love to know what they thought about the freezing, wet, silly cyclists.
The rain subsided and stopped, it looked like we'd gotten out of the storm. Still milling about at the store and recuperating, we didn't treat any of the last rest stops like race ones. The first ones we'd tried to make good time in getting in & getting out. Being fast was futile toward the end. Then the thunder started up again, my heart sank when I heard it roll up. It had caught us. We got going and the rain came down again, it was significantly harder for me to keep going at that point. Again, rain isn't a problem, it's the lightning that I don't like.
Mile 85 was soon after the hot chocolate stop. Muddy, rocky, rooty, the most technically challenging off-road portion of the course was here & we'd awaited this point all day. Thanks to the garbage bag on Todd, I couldn't see anything. I just kept pedaling on cue and he got us through. There were a couple of spots where the tandem was stopped by the mud or other obstructions. I put a foot down and sank into the mud. I hadn't realized before that that we were even riding in mud. Keeping the stoker clueless is a key to success.
On we rode until the course took a turn into the heart of the storm. At that point, we stopped and took shelter under someone's garage & waited for our teammates to show up. The race director gave us an alternate route so we could avoid the storm and ride to the finish cutting some miles out. Finally, we were all back together again and we rolled to the finish easily. The sky cleared as if nothing had ever transpired in those wild, remote hills of Vermont. Upon crossing the border back into NH, Todd let Vermont know what he thought about it. We all needed him to say the things he did to shake off what we'd just been through. We were bold enough to take off the bags and relax. Pedaling on... suddenly we had 1 mile left to go (I thought we still had 10+ remaining). What a pleasant surprise!
We pulled into the parking lot 10 hours after we'd started the Epic Avenging and we were smiling almost as much as we had at the beginning of the day. It was fun. I would do it again. I hope to do it again.
According to Todd, I was "well behaved." But he assured me that since I had taken on that course and the challenge, that I wasn't one of the well-behaved women who doesn't make history.
And what did I learn about Todd? That he doesn't take anything where it comes to riding seriously except an open field with lightning overhead and the sharp turns at the bottom of steep descents. Oh, and pre-race nutrition. He was quite concerning about eating popcorn and drinking beer the night before the race. Maybe he knows something the rest of us (me) don't. He knows how to handle a bike (with my weight on it), pedal (again, with my weight on it) and keep a good disposition even when he's shivering enough and has cold enough hands that most people wouldn't be able to keep a bike going straight and fast.
There's one for history: the Rapha Gentlemen's Race 2012 is in the books. The Epic Avengers didn't officially finish, but we officially lived and had a great time on the road together. I got back in the saddle to do the hardest ride of my life after not much riding at all for the past year.
Huge thanks to all of my teammates who worked so hard for each other throughout the long day. Thank you to everyone who brought bikes & equipment (which will never be the same again after all of that mud & grit), those (Pamela!) who organized us all at the very last minute and who had faith that we could accomplish this race together though odds said there was no way we could pull it off at the last minute.
For full visuals, visit my Facebook page!
Are you ready to race your bike?
Here's an article I wrote for the Bike Hugger blog back in 2007, at the height of my competitive racing. It's timeless advice. Enjoy.
April 9, 2007
The Team Bike Hugger blog prompted questions from readers as to what it takes to start road racing. I hope this inspires at least a few of you to get out there and experience the thrill of racing first-hand. Here is my take on the fundamentals of racing:
April 9, 2007
The Team Bike Hugger blog prompted questions from readers as to what it takes to start road racing. I hope this inspires at least a few of you to get out there and experience the thrill of racing first-hand. Here is my take on the fundamentals of racing:
- Anyone can race. You can be a successful racer.
- Racing isn’t rocket science. The rules are simple, many are common-sense.
- You do not need to train like a pro or be a talented athlete (aka a freak of nature) to begin racing.
- You must be passionate about riding your bike.
- Racing is addictive. After you race once, the habit is usually formed and very difficult to break.
These are true for men and women racers, though there are significant differences in the men’s and women’s fields.
Anyone Can Race
Just a quick word on how I started: Four years ago, I bought my first road bike. Prior to getting the bike, all I did was walk my dog after work. Once I got the bike, I commuted to and from work for 2 months, did a few group rides and, on a whim, signed up for my first race. I dabbled with racing that season in Seattle. The season after that, I had a blast racing cat 4 (beginner) in Colorado. Last year I got serious about racing (I got a coach and read every article and book that I could about racing) so as to continue to enjoy it as a cat 3. The more I race, the more I want to race and the faster I want to go. At this point, my lifestyle is very bike/racing-centric and I can’t imagine going back to the “normal” life I used to lead since this one is so fun and fulfilling. And I still have a lot to learn and a long way to go. The stamp shown here was on the envelope that contained prize money for winning a race two weeks ago. What I’m saying here is anyone can do it, you just need to start.
I saw a quote recently that went something like:
“A year from now you’re going to wish you started today.”
That being said, bike racing is for people of all ages so don’t despair if you wish you had started years ago. It’s not too late. One of my racing heros, Tina Pic was born in 1966. And don’t forget Ned Overend who is over 50 and still racing, coming second to Scott Moninger (BMC) in the Mt. Evans hill climb by 5 seconds last year.
There are different categories of racers, where the beginners are cat 4 (for women) or cat 4 or 5 depending on state (for men), intermediate racers are cat 3 and the most experienced and faster racers are cat 1/pro or 2. Sometimes there are “open” fields where all categories of racers race together. This means a pro/cat 1 racer could be racing against a brand new cat 4 racer. This often happens with women’s fields in the early season races. I really don’t think it’s a good idea, if you’re just starting, to race against competition that is so much stronger. It won’t be a race, it’ll be a mental beating down. I made that mistake once. It caused me to stop racing for a couple of months. Luckily, the guys on the team I was racing for were really supportive and they helped build my confidence back.
That reminds me to mention–it is far easier to start racing as a woman. Women racers are generally supportive of each other and I’ve found the men to be very encouraging and supportive of the women, too. Usually, though, women are scared to ride with the guys or have some excuse that I can’t understand.
Mike Magnuson, author of “Heft on Wheels” said it well: “Nobody wants to hear you whine.” My experience has shown that guys respect the women who ride hard, even if they are riding slower than the men.
Hopefully, you now see that you can race. It’s all a matter of whether or not you want to.
Racing Isn’t Rocket Science
Check out the rulebook of USA Cycling. Sorry, it’s 138 pages long, but actually doesn’t take too long. Check it out, you’ll learn a lot. There are a few major rules to follow, and usually they’ll be explained to the racers prior to the race start. The biggie is the yellow-line rule. There are so many things to learn about racing, for example, how to corner properly, sprint, work in an eschelon, etc. It certainly helps to talk to people about these things prior to racing so you know the basics, but most of this stuff will be learned while racing. Every race I enter, I learn something new. So don’t worry about not being prepared at first. Experience is the best teacher. A few things, though, that are good to be proficient at going into the first race:
Know how to “hold your line” Be able to drink and ride with one hand Be comfortable riding in the drops through corners and while descending Be comfortable getting out of the saddle on climbs Know how to draft and be comfortable riding close with people on all sides of you Stay relaxed, elbows bent at all times.
It’s helpful to pre-ride the course just for peace of mind. The less nervous you are, the safer you will be and you’re more likely to enjoy the ride.
You Don’t Have to Be a Freak of Nature
There will be people out there who are insanely strong, but the majority of cat 4 racers are fairly new to racing, and competing. You will meet others who are similar to you. Bike racing is a unique sport in that there is no stereotypical body type that defines the successful racer.
Love Thy Bike
Many people get into bike racing because they like competing. This is a good reason, but think about it, only a tiny fraction of time will you actually be racing the bike. Many hours a week, even as a recreational racer, will be spent on training and group rides. You gotta love being out there on the road, sometimes doing intervals alone, to have fun and be successful racing…and to guard against burn-out. Years from now, I know that I won’t be racing, but I also know my quality of life won’t be the same if I’m not going on long bike rides. So my top priority is to love every minute on the bike and not do anything to jeopardize that.
Racing is Addictive
Ah, c’mon, try it, you’ll like it. One thing, though, if you really don’t feel like racing, don’t let anyone talk you into it. Get to know your body and your gut instinct. Racing can be dangerous and it’s important to listen to your subconscious. But do try that first race and meet other addicts, you just might be surprised at how difficult it is to stay away from future races.
Obviously, these are just the basics. There’s so, so much more to racing. I think that’s one of the things that really attracts me to the sport. It’s something I was able to do when I was really new to bike riding, but I’m always learning and growing as a racer and as a person.
Good luck!
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
April Showers
It's been much too long since the last blog post, but it's time to put up something. This blog was far more interesting when I was racing or traveling. Someone made a great suggestion that I should blog about my experiences in a small business and life as I find it daily at work. The story can't be told yet - it'll need to wait until there's time, it could be years. I like the idea of being completely immersed in the business and having a singular focus on it. If my first book will be called Gelato Diet, the second one will need to be Affogato - translated this means drowned. It's also the name of a really tasty drink comprised of an espresso shot poured over gelato. The many meanings of this will work too well.
I've been fairly successful at keeping distractions out of my life - this is something I wasn't good at in Denver. There, I split my time in so many directions that it made moving forward in any single one nearly impossible. But most of what I did there was excellent preparation for what I am doing now. Toastmasters is one of the most important extracurriculars I've ever done. It'd be wise for me to return here, but I suppose adding a speech homework assignment to my already impossible schedule doesn't sound like a smart thing to do.
Monday, January 02, 2012
2011 in Review - Welcome 2012
Seeing as though it's the start of a new year, it's as good a time as any to say something here. This post needs pictures. Maybe I'll add them - but I know if I wait to get them all together, this might never be posted. So here goes.
2011 was a pretty cool year. It started with coming to Boston from a short & sweet visit in Denver. I came out to Beantown for a contract job with Ciclismo Classico to do sales & marketing. I stayed with a really wonderful host family in January, house-sat in February and by mid-March was back in Denver only to pack my stuff and come back to Boston permanently.
How'd that happen? I'll never know exactly. I guess it has a lot to do with just going with it. Never thought I'd end up in Boston. Always wanted to be back on the East Coast since I'd lived in the Albany area, but Boston didn't ever occur to me. Even when it was time to come to Boston, I wasn't particularly looking forward to it. Who moves to Boston in January and enjoys it?
I found I liked the endless snow of January more because of the novelty and it didn't make things all that much more difficult considering the buses and my living situation. This year, I'll admit, I'm glad the snow is holding off.
Early in February, I dropped into the Ride Studio Cafe for the first time - a place that quickly became my weekend home--a place that generously supplied me with bike rides, friends and community. I'd been fortunate to befriend many of my co-workers, too, so I didn't get lonely or stir-crazy during the winter. I also enjoyed my job, so that made it easy to be content.
In March, I had a terrific visit with family & friends in Denver and it concluded with my packing my car and driving it and my mom across the country back to Boston. The time with my mom was the best we've had in recent years. We got to get all caught up and reconnected. I've now road tripped with almost everyone in my family at this point (individually) - and each trip was significantly great with each person. That much uninterrupted time to talk is valuable and almost impossible to have this day in age.
Mom had a great time in Boston - she knows the place better than I do now. Having her enjoy it here meant a lot to me and it helped me feel that I was making a sane choice in coming here.
April meant the Boston Marathon in Boston, Patriots Day (it's a huge holiday here) and a visit from good friends who were here for the marathon.
May found me traveling to California for the final stage of the Tour of California in Thousand Oaks. Yeah, that's about as cool as business trips go. Riding through Hidden Valley in picture perfect weather was sweet.
June was spent riding long miles in prep for the Brewery to Brewery ride, the longest ride of my life at 150 miles, completed in a little over 8 hrs. One of the century training rides leading up to the B to B was in the top 10 of my favorite rides ever. I also made it back to Denver for a long weekend. It was intense, quality visiting with good friends and my family. It was a perfect time to be back in Denver.
July meant a bit of racing, just to keep it interesting. I discovered that I still enjoy crits, even after all of the long Italian races. Nothing like racing to spice up life a little.
At the end of July, I had the real treat of visiting my Aunt & Uncle & cousins in upstate NY. It was the longest I'd spent with any of them, ever, and it was such a great visit. I visited other cousins at the same time, reconnecting with them, too. Short, but precious time. So glad those visits worked out as they did.
August found my bro and uncle here in Boston. We had a blast exploring Boston, we rode around, ate good food and just had a fun visit. When we're together, we're all kids.
After the first weekend in August, I began prepping for my new life - as the curator for the Ride Studio Cafe. Since then, I haven't paused for much more than a moment. I work (though it's hard to call it work) a lot and I love it. Finally, I found what I should be doing that makes sense for me. Finally I'm on the path that I've been searching out my whole life. So many things make sense now that didn't necessarily add up before during other times in my life. September, October and November were full of events at the RSC. December was just as busy, but for non-event reasons. I learned how to pull a shot of espresso and make coffee drinks in December. That was a highlight of the month as well as Christmas that, once I got through it, was the icing on the cake in proving to me that I am where I should be and in a place I am very much in the middle of making my new home.
2011 ended on a nice note and I wouldn't have wanted to spend it any other way. Today, 2012 started great and ended even better. I sealed the day with a trip to the bookstore for some uninterrupted magazine time. Finally, I'm getting into a groove and getting to a place where I'm living the way I want to live.
Cheers to a happy, healthy & fun 2012!
2011 was a pretty cool year. It started with coming to Boston from a short & sweet visit in Denver. I came out to Beantown for a contract job with Ciclismo Classico to do sales & marketing. I stayed with a really wonderful host family in January, house-sat in February and by mid-March was back in Denver only to pack my stuff and come back to Boston permanently.
How'd that happen? I'll never know exactly. I guess it has a lot to do with just going with it. Never thought I'd end up in Boston. Always wanted to be back on the East Coast since I'd lived in the Albany area, but Boston didn't ever occur to me. Even when it was time to come to Boston, I wasn't particularly looking forward to it. Who moves to Boston in January and enjoys it?
I found I liked the endless snow of January more because of the novelty and it didn't make things all that much more difficult considering the buses and my living situation. This year, I'll admit, I'm glad the snow is holding off.
Early in February, I dropped into the Ride Studio Cafe for the first time - a place that quickly became my weekend home--a place that generously supplied me with bike rides, friends and community. I'd been fortunate to befriend many of my co-workers, too, so I didn't get lonely or stir-crazy during the winter. I also enjoyed my job, so that made it easy to be content.
In March, I had a terrific visit with family & friends in Denver and it concluded with my packing my car and driving it and my mom across the country back to Boston. The time with my mom was the best we've had in recent years. We got to get all caught up and reconnected. I've now road tripped with almost everyone in my family at this point (individually) - and each trip was significantly great with each person. That much uninterrupted time to talk is valuable and almost impossible to have this day in age.
Mom had a great time in Boston - she knows the place better than I do now. Having her enjoy it here meant a lot to me and it helped me feel that I was making a sane choice in coming here.
April meant the Boston Marathon in Boston, Patriots Day (it's a huge holiday here) and a visit from good friends who were here for the marathon.
May found me traveling to California for the final stage of the Tour of California in Thousand Oaks. Yeah, that's about as cool as business trips go. Riding through Hidden Valley in picture perfect weather was sweet.
June was spent riding long miles in prep for the Brewery to Brewery ride, the longest ride of my life at 150 miles, completed in a little over 8 hrs. One of the century training rides leading up to the B to B was in the top 10 of my favorite rides ever. I also made it back to Denver for a long weekend. It was intense, quality visiting with good friends and my family. It was a perfect time to be back in Denver.
July meant a bit of racing, just to keep it interesting. I discovered that I still enjoy crits, even after all of the long Italian races. Nothing like racing to spice up life a little.
At the end of July, I had the real treat of visiting my Aunt & Uncle & cousins in upstate NY. It was the longest I'd spent with any of them, ever, and it was such a great visit. I visited other cousins at the same time, reconnecting with them, too. Short, but precious time. So glad those visits worked out as they did.
August found my bro and uncle here in Boston. We had a blast exploring Boston, we rode around, ate good food and just had a fun visit. When we're together, we're all kids.
After the first weekend in August, I began prepping for my new life - as the curator for the Ride Studio Cafe. Since then, I haven't paused for much more than a moment. I work (though it's hard to call it work) a lot and I love it. Finally, I found what I should be doing that makes sense for me. Finally I'm on the path that I've been searching out my whole life. So many things make sense now that didn't necessarily add up before during other times in my life. September, October and November were full of events at the RSC. December was just as busy, but for non-event reasons. I learned how to pull a shot of espresso and make coffee drinks in December. That was a highlight of the month as well as Christmas that, once I got through it, was the icing on the cake in proving to me that I am where I should be and in a place I am very much in the middle of making my new home.
2011 ended on a nice note and I wouldn't have wanted to spend it any other way. Today, 2012 started great and ended even better. I sealed the day with a trip to the bookstore for some uninterrupted magazine time. Finally, I'm getting into a groove and getting to a place where I'm living the way I want to live.
Cheers to a happy, healthy & fun 2012!
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Life in Boston
[The first part of this blog post was written on 11/16. As usual, I wrote what I could & never published it. I have countless posts in this same state of not being finished. The second part of the post is written today 12/8.]
Tuesday I made it back to Upstate NY - this is the place where I started my adult life and it had become somewhat of a dreamland in my mind as it had been so many years since I've been here. I've spent a few thoughts thinking back to this little wonderful place and missing it to a degree--as I always said that I knew I belonged back here when I lived here before so to leave definitely wasn't in keeping with what I felt. (The move was supposed to be temporary, there were other factors. Long story.) There are a lot of very special places here that set this part of the country apart. For others it may be different, but for me, it's a best-of sort of place.
Who would guess that this is the place to eat well - I've been all over the country looking for a co-op as good as the Honest Weight Food Co-op (HWFC) found in Albany. The HWFC is the best. And they've expanded significantly since I was there last (years ago). This is a place that practices what it preaches, is fueled by the community caring about local sources of natural foods. It's what people think they're buying when they go to Whole Foods. But this is the real deal. They've kept their standards high, prices low and they've been profitable enough to move locations in now what should be a year or less.
So that's the place to buy groceries. Period.
I wrote most of this blog in Saratoga Springs in a fantastic coffee shop & bagel store. Since the last time I was here, it's doubled its size. Located right across the street from Starbucks, it's thriving. They roast their own beans & the coffee is good. Not sure I ever drank their coffee before, but I've enjoyed their tea and bagels immensely.
But before I came here, it was necessary to stop at the Four Seasons, a small health food store. It's fairly average except for its vegan salad/food bar. It's the best lunch and dinner. So I picked up some to-go food for the drive home. I've had countless meals at that place.
There's nothing too remarkable -on paper- about living where I used to. It's a quiet place (now I have Boston to compare it to...I see how much quieter and simpler it is here). Something I needed to figure out during this trip is why I have so often thought back to life here and wondered if I should have ever left. I know the answer to the question: absolutely. I did the right thing. I wouldn't be in Boston now had I not left. It's good to live close to here. I am thrilled I'm a short 3-hr drive. It's an easy drive, so long as it's possible to get out of Boston traffic. It's a nice life, to be sure. I have been able to sort out the reality from the dream...well, maybe.
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12/8 - Now to resume the blog! FINALLY. I've been dying to get back here, but with too much going on at work, this has had to take a back seat. When I get time away from the shop, the last thing I want to be doing is writing. Reading has catapulted to the top of my list, actually. It's something I've missed very much and once I got out of the nearly-perfect rhythm of my Denver loft life, I haven't been able to get back in sync since. This past Tuesday I had the day off from work. I promised myself I wouldn't get out of bed for hours so I could read. My plan was interrupted, but I did make reasonable progress. Every day is about making progress, I've learned to accept that I can't make a full change in anything instantly for many reasons.
One question that I've been working on answering since I've been living a rather unsettled life is what makes a place home. When I lived in upstate NY, I felt like I was home and at home. When I was in Seattle (Bainbridge), my life situation was similar, but I wasn't home. It never quite felt right. I never missed that part of my life after I left it. Was that a mental attitude I had toward the place? I went with an open mind & moved there without ever having seen the place before. And no, I wasn't going in scared about the stories of all of the rain.
For a few reasons, I never really had close friends in Seattle. One of those reasons was that I lived a very long way from work and I did have friends there - but none I could spend any non-work time with. In NY, I made true friends. This is likely a big reason for the difference. But was there something about the Seattle itself that prohibited me from calling it home?
Denver was easy to call home because it was home. I think there's a special relationship anyone has with the place they were raised. I remember the one or two days every summer Mom would take me and my brother to downtown Denver. It was typically the highlight of the summer. The best part was when the sun would go down on us as we were walking around town - through the sometimes scary streets and sketchy neighborhoods. To catch a glimpse of the Denver skyline at night was absolute beauty. I got cold chills being there and seeing the silhouetted buildings. Just thinking about them now gives me the same cold chills. Back in those days, I didn't care much for nature, but I loved the city.
Italy was a whole different story. I started getting into "nesting" mode when I got to Italy. Basically, after traveling for such an extended period of time, it felt like it was time to settle down. It would have been easy for me to stay there for a very long time except that I got deathly homesick right around this time last year. I had friends and a good community there so for the time I was there, it was home-like. I still never felt perfectly comfortable due to the language barrier and the fact that it was devoid of my U.S. family and friends. The ocean is too big and not being able to drive to/from my family really didn't feel good. On top of everything, the political situation there makes the U.S. look like a perfect system. I really started to appreciate what we have in the U.S. more than ever. And it felt good to miss my family so much. Life is not a string of high moments. The melancholy sprinkled in with awesome times gives life its flavor and depth. My time in Italy can definitely be characterized with more emotional highs and lows as I tried to make a life there truly from scratch.
Now this brings us to the present day of life in Boston. Last year at this time I could never have dreamed that I would be here now. It's Dec. 8th. and not that many days from Christmas. This year I'm going to try to suck it up and be here on Christmas. I love being in Denver at my folks' place on Christmas. There's nothing like it. I have been there almost every Christmas since I was born. Same family room, almost the same tree.
My relationship with Boston remains uncharacterized so far. I don't have words to explain my experience here yet. Boston has a personality all its own; it's like a quiet, attractive introvert--it takes some time to peel back its layers to truly get to its heart and understand what it really is--and discover what it is exactly that makes it attractive. Many of these types of people live in Boston...a lot of really intelligent people whose life stories are all interesting and not even remotely obvious from a casual conversation.
The cost of Boston is frustrating. After living very comfortably for years, I have to live with others in a cold house to afford to live. Fortunately, the company of others keeps me from getting too lonely and it's good for me to not be too comfortable. Every day I make a conscious decision that I am living the life I want to live not the life that is simply too comfortable that changing it would be the hard thing to do. Slipping back to my old Denver life would be so easy, there wouldn't be challenge in it. I miss my friends and family there, but I'm not stagnated by this. It is what it is. Again, experiencing the various emotions associated with being in a new place, removed from the comfort of knowing people and places (and the roads!) is part of the human experience. I don't have a comfort zone established here yet where I can get a hug anytime I need it and sometimes I do really need a hug--like everyone. This lack of external comfort helps me step back and ground myself in things interior, not in others. It's a chance to get to know more deeply my faith, God and self. And it certainly helps me appreciate those who do give me a hand when they don't realize they are offering one. I've always been surrounded by really good people and here is definitely no exception. I am really, really thankful for the wonderful people I've met and had a chance to spend time with in my life and I regularly remember how very, very lucky I am.
This is something like the 20th blog post I've written on many of these topics but I have yet to publish any of them as they ended up unfinished--without conclusion or graceful end. This one I'm posting. Someday it'll be interesting to go back and read. It's possible someone will read this and relate. I should have gone to bed hours ago but I've needed to put these thoughts down in some sort of coherent form; it has needed to happen for quite a long time. So I'm just going to keep writing, feel free to stop reading.
Why I always end up taking the hardest path is not clear. I believe it comes down to boredom avoidance. When every day is easy and fun, it's also boring and accomplishing great things only comes after big challenges have been overcome. I tend to force myself to do the things that I know will scare me. And no, I won't be jumping out of a plane anytime soon, but you get the point. Nothing that worthwhile is obtained very easily. When I say this, I'm talking more about everything but my personal relationships. If there's one thing I don't like it's tricky personal situations. In fact, I avoid them like the plague. I've been fortunate to have an almost drama-free life. I welcome a simple, easy personal life that is constant day-to-day. Right now, it's easy being alone--the one way to guarantee a drama-free existence. Eventually, though, it makes sense to incorporate someone else into the day-to-day. As much as I try to convince myself that I should stay single forever, it doens't quite feel right. So we'll see what the future holds. I'm not worrying about it or trying to engineer it, though I'd be lying to say I don't think about it and what I want it to look like.
The one thing I have yet to mention is work. Work is the greatest part of my life right now and it consumes almost all of my waking time. I like it this way. I can't say for sure that I'll always want it to be all-consuming, but I feel that if it weren't, it would be hard to do it well enough to feel good about it. Right now I can say I'm giving it everything I have to give and when I take time off, it's only to ensure proper focus and energy for when I'm back at it. What I'm doing now is partially everything I have ever wanted (awesome team, creative freedom, ability to take ownership, cool toys (in this case it's bikes), hands-on work, not sitting at a computer) and partially everything I've always tried to avoid (sales, long hours, retail). This odd mix makes for the perfect job for me and I relish it every day. In every tricky situation, I learn so much and it's finally a place where all of the theory presented in business books has real application. Finally. Now I read what I can but do wish there were more time to do so. I'm having fun, am constantly challenged and really appreciating the times when it's appropriate to just laugh out loud to break the intensity.
With that, you've heard the very latest and I have finally been able to put my thoughts in logical enough order to publish them. Thank you for the chance to do so, I somehow feel significantly better now than when I started this back on the 16th of November. Good night and good luck.
Tuesday I made it back to Upstate NY - this is the place where I started my adult life and it had become somewhat of a dreamland in my mind as it had been so many years since I've been here. I've spent a few thoughts thinking back to this little wonderful place and missing it to a degree--as I always said that I knew I belonged back here when I lived here before so to leave definitely wasn't in keeping with what I felt. (The move was supposed to be temporary, there were other factors. Long story.) There are a lot of very special places here that set this part of the country apart. For others it may be different, but for me, it's a best-of sort of place.
Who would guess that this is the place to eat well - I've been all over the country looking for a co-op as good as the Honest Weight Food Co-op (HWFC) found in Albany. The HWFC is the best. And they've expanded significantly since I was there last (years ago). This is a place that practices what it preaches, is fueled by the community caring about local sources of natural foods. It's what people think they're buying when they go to Whole Foods. But this is the real deal. They've kept their standards high, prices low and they've been profitable enough to move locations in now what should be a year or less.
So that's the place to buy groceries. Period.
I wrote most of this blog in Saratoga Springs in a fantastic coffee shop & bagel store. Since the last time I was here, it's doubled its size. Located right across the street from Starbucks, it's thriving. They roast their own beans & the coffee is good. Not sure I ever drank their coffee before, but I've enjoyed their tea and bagels immensely.
But before I came here, it was necessary to stop at the Four Seasons, a small health food store. It's fairly average except for its vegan salad/food bar. It's the best lunch and dinner. So I picked up some to-go food for the drive home. I've had countless meals at that place.
There's nothing too remarkable -on paper- about living where I used to. It's a quiet place (now I have Boston to compare it to...I see how much quieter and simpler it is here). Something I needed to figure out during this trip is why I have so often thought back to life here and wondered if I should have ever left. I know the answer to the question: absolutely. I did the right thing. I wouldn't be in Boston now had I not left. It's good to live close to here. I am thrilled I'm a short 3-hr drive. It's an easy drive, so long as it's possible to get out of Boston traffic. It's a nice life, to be sure. I have been able to sort out the reality from the dream...well, maybe.
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12/8 - Now to resume the blog! FINALLY. I've been dying to get back here, but with too much going on at work, this has had to take a back seat. When I get time away from the shop, the last thing I want to be doing is writing. Reading has catapulted to the top of my list, actually. It's something I've missed very much and once I got out of the nearly-perfect rhythm of my Denver loft life, I haven't been able to get back in sync since. This past Tuesday I had the day off from work. I promised myself I wouldn't get out of bed for hours so I could read. My plan was interrupted, but I did make reasonable progress. Every day is about making progress, I've learned to accept that I can't make a full change in anything instantly for many reasons.
One question that I've been working on answering since I've been living a rather unsettled life is what makes a place home. When I lived in upstate NY, I felt like I was home and at home. When I was in Seattle (Bainbridge), my life situation was similar, but I wasn't home. It never quite felt right. I never missed that part of my life after I left it. Was that a mental attitude I had toward the place? I went with an open mind & moved there without ever having seen the place before. And no, I wasn't going in scared about the stories of all of the rain.
For a few reasons, I never really had close friends in Seattle. One of those reasons was that I lived a very long way from work and I did have friends there - but none I could spend any non-work time with. In NY, I made true friends. This is likely a big reason for the difference. But was there something about the Seattle itself that prohibited me from calling it home?
Denver was easy to call home because it was home. I think there's a special relationship anyone has with the place they were raised. I remember the one or two days every summer Mom would take me and my brother to downtown Denver. It was typically the highlight of the summer. The best part was when the sun would go down on us as we were walking around town - through the sometimes scary streets and sketchy neighborhoods. To catch a glimpse of the Denver skyline at night was absolute beauty. I got cold chills being there and seeing the silhouetted buildings. Just thinking about them now gives me the same cold chills. Back in those days, I didn't care much for nature, but I loved the city.
Italy was a whole different story. I started getting into "nesting" mode when I got to Italy. Basically, after traveling for such an extended period of time, it felt like it was time to settle down. It would have been easy for me to stay there for a very long time except that I got deathly homesick right around this time last year. I had friends and a good community there so for the time I was there, it was home-like. I still never felt perfectly comfortable due to the language barrier and the fact that it was devoid of my U.S. family and friends. The ocean is too big and not being able to drive to/from my family really didn't feel good. On top of everything, the political situation there makes the U.S. look like a perfect system. I really started to appreciate what we have in the U.S. more than ever. And it felt good to miss my family so much. Life is not a string of high moments. The melancholy sprinkled in with awesome times gives life its flavor and depth. My time in Italy can definitely be characterized with more emotional highs and lows as I tried to make a life there truly from scratch.
Now this brings us to the present day of life in Boston. Last year at this time I could never have dreamed that I would be here now. It's Dec. 8th. and not that many days from Christmas. This year I'm going to try to suck it up and be here on Christmas. I love being in Denver at my folks' place on Christmas. There's nothing like it. I have been there almost every Christmas since I was born. Same family room, almost the same tree.
My relationship with Boston remains uncharacterized so far. I don't have words to explain my experience here yet. Boston has a personality all its own; it's like a quiet, attractive introvert--it takes some time to peel back its layers to truly get to its heart and understand what it really is--and discover what it is exactly that makes it attractive. Many of these types of people live in Boston...a lot of really intelligent people whose life stories are all interesting and not even remotely obvious from a casual conversation.
The cost of Boston is frustrating. After living very comfortably for years, I have to live with others in a cold house to afford to live. Fortunately, the company of others keeps me from getting too lonely and it's good for me to not be too comfortable. Every day I make a conscious decision that I am living the life I want to live not the life that is simply too comfortable that changing it would be the hard thing to do. Slipping back to my old Denver life would be so easy, there wouldn't be challenge in it. I miss my friends and family there, but I'm not stagnated by this. It is what it is. Again, experiencing the various emotions associated with being in a new place, removed from the comfort of knowing people and places (and the roads!) is part of the human experience. I don't have a comfort zone established here yet where I can get a hug anytime I need it and sometimes I do really need a hug--like everyone. This lack of external comfort helps me step back and ground myself in things interior, not in others. It's a chance to get to know more deeply my faith, God and self. And it certainly helps me appreciate those who do give me a hand when they don't realize they are offering one. I've always been surrounded by really good people and here is definitely no exception. I am really, really thankful for the wonderful people I've met and had a chance to spend time with in my life and I regularly remember how very, very lucky I am.
This is something like the 20th blog post I've written on many of these topics but I have yet to publish any of them as they ended up unfinished--without conclusion or graceful end. This one I'm posting. Someday it'll be interesting to go back and read. It's possible someone will read this and relate. I should have gone to bed hours ago but I've needed to put these thoughts down in some sort of coherent form; it has needed to happen for quite a long time. So I'm just going to keep writing, feel free to stop reading.
Why I always end up taking the hardest path is not clear. I believe it comes down to boredom avoidance. When every day is easy and fun, it's also boring and accomplishing great things only comes after big challenges have been overcome. I tend to force myself to do the things that I know will scare me. And no, I won't be jumping out of a plane anytime soon, but you get the point. Nothing that worthwhile is obtained very easily. When I say this, I'm talking more about everything but my personal relationships. If there's one thing I don't like it's tricky personal situations. In fact, I avoid them like the plague. I've been fortunate to have an almost drama-free life. I welcome a simple, easy personal life that is constant day-to-day. Right now, it's easy being alone--the one way to guarantee a drama-free existence. Eventually, though, it makes sense to incorporate someone else into the day-to-day. As much as I try to convince myself that I should stay single forever, it doens't quite feel right. So we'll see what the future holds. I'm not worrying about it or trying to engineer it, though I'd be lying to say I don't think about it and what I want it to look like.
The one thing I have yet to mention is work. Work is the greatest part of my life right now and it consumes almost all of my waking time. I like it this way. I can't say for sure that I'll always want it to be all-consuming, but I feel that if it weren't, it would be hard to do it well enough to feel good about it. Right now I can say I'm giving it everything I have to give and when I take time off, it's only to ensure proper focus and energy for when I'm back at it. What I'm doing now is partially everything I have ever wanted (awesome team, creative freedom, ability to take ownership, cool toys (in this case it's bikes), hands-on work, not sitting at a computer) and partially everything I've always tried to avoid (sales, long hours, retail). This odd mix makes for the perfect job for me and I relish it every day. In every tricky situation, I learn so much and it's finally a place where all of the theory presented in business books has real application. Finally. Now I read what I can but do wish there were more time to do so. I'm having fun, am constantly challenged and really appreciating the times when it's appropriate to just laugh out loud to break the intensity.
With that, you've heard the very latest and I have finally been able to put my thoughts in logical enough order to publish them. Thank you for the chance to do so, I somehow feel significantly better now than when I started this back on the 16th of November. Good night and good luck.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
A moment to catch up
First, happy fall. Where'd the summer go? Not fair to ask that question, this summer was full and I can't complain that the summer has rolled into fall. No, I'm not completely ready for winter at all or the cooler temps, but this is life and the seasons are important. I'd get stir-crazy without them.
The last part of summer was been completely consumed, basically from the moment my uncle and bro left town, with a significant change in my life. I'd mentioned a blog post or two back about the blogging that I've done that were a series of unfinished posts I felt unworthy of publishing to the world. In a few spare moments, I went back and read those posts. It was a bit eerie, they were all centered around my burning desire to do something that very closely resembles what I am doing now.
Actually, what I'm doing now is something I've wanted for a very, very long time in concept. But being the Curator for a bike and coffee shop was not what I had in mind. What I had been thinking, in all honesty, never looked as good in my imagination to the reality I have found myself in now. There is a lot to accomplish in limited waking hours; it's work. But work where effort yields results is sweet. And doing work in an area where one is passionate and making forward progress: it's the definition of fun. This is that kind of work. It's quite similar to what I experienced back in college with the senior design project with the Sharp Shooters. I've been chasing that experience ever since. It's not going to be easy, nor did I expect it to be...would it be fun if it were? Nah.
Since my lifestyle hasn't truly been defined here yet (too new to town and haven't established any patterns with friends), it's so much easier to not feel like I'm giving up anything to spend time working. No, no, this is not to be confused with any kind of workaholism tendencies. I've proven that I know how to take time off and relax; however, I finally get to dictate my own schedule without being on the schedule of someone else...I'm liking this degree of freedom...a lot.
Sure, I would like to have more time in every day to see and talk to everyone who I should, but that's a losing battle no matter how many more hours there are in every day.
This post is something I wrote a couple of weeks ago & it's high time to get it published. There are a few more posts to go up soon (maybe tonight?) too. As fast as time is flying, I know if I don't get this up there *now* it'll just never happen. A little is better than nothing. Part of my job involves maintaining a blog...which I need to write soooo much more for, but I guess this is the only part of my personal life that I am investing time into, so it's important. Then I'll get into blogging some cool bike stuff. There are about 1,000 things to write about. For as long as I've ridden a bike, every day is a new wealth of info, a real insight into so much, and so much of that is worth sharing. In time.
The last part of summer was been completely consumed, basically from the moment my uncle and bro left town, with a significant change in my life. I'd mentioned a blog post or two back about the blogging that I've done that were a series of unfinished posts I felt unworthy of publishing to the world. In a few spare moments, I went back and read those posts. It was a bit eerie, they were all centered around my burning desire to do something that very closely resembles what I am doing now.
Actually, what I'm doing now is something I've wanted for a very, very long time in concept. But being the Curator for a bike and coffee shop was not what I had in mind. What I had been thinking, in all honesty, never looked as good in my imagination to the reality I have found myself in now. There is a lot to accomplish in limited waking hours; it's work. But work where effort yields results is sweet. And doing work in an area where one is passionate and making forward progress: it's the definition of fun. This is that kind of work. It's quite similar to what I experienced back in college with the senior design project with the Sharp Shooters. I've been chasing that experience ever since. It's not going to be easy, nor did I expect it to be...would it be fun if it were? Nah.
Since my lifestyle hasn't truly been defined here yet (too new to town and haven't established any patterns with friends), it's so much easier to not feel like I'm giving up anything to spend time working. No, no, this is not to be confused with any kind of workaholism tendencies. I've proven that I know how to take time off and relax; however, I finally get to dictate my own schedule without being on the schedule of someone else...I'm liking this degree of freedom...a lot.
Sure, I would like to have more time in every day to see and talk to everyone who I should, but that's a losing battle no matter how many more hours there are in every day.
This post is something I wrote a couple of weeks ago & it's high time to get it published. There are a few more posts to go up soon (maybe tonight?) too. As fast as time is flying, I know if I don't get this up there *now* it'll just never happen. A little is better than nothing. Part of my job involves maintaining a blog...which I need to write soooo much more for, but I guess this is the only part of my personal life that I am investing time into, so it's important. Then I'll get into blogging some cool bike stuff. There are about 1,000 things to write about. For as long as I've ridden a bike, every day is a new wealth of info, a real insight into so much, and so much of that is worth sharing. In time.
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