Tomorrow is moving day and I don't know where to begin. I hardly have anything as most of what I own was able to fit inside a regular car when I moved out here. There was a nice little IKEA splurge once I got to town, but other than that, I haven't added much. Somehow, though, the job is daunting.
Part of moving is simply the hauling of stuff down and up stairs many, many times. This part is enjoyable when I'm moving other people's stuff. For my own, it's more tiring as stuff -material items- is tiring and I have to worry about each thing being put in the proper place. It is a good workout and that will be welcome. Stuff weighs a person down in so many ways. My stuff is certainly no exception albeit fairly well chiseled down to the essentials considering how many times I've had to move it. Each time I've gotten a bit more particular about what's important and what can stay back.
The other part of moving is the emotional side. As much as I don't like the old carpet in my current room, it is the space I've started to associate with being my space. I really believe that every human being needs some space, no matter how small, of their very own. This room has, gradually, become my space and now I'm preparing to say goodbye to it. Earlier this year, when I moved to MA, I was trying to nest, it was something I needed. Now, not so much though I'm not sure why.
I remember writing back when I was living in Italy that I enjoyed having roommates and that I never wanted to live alone again. Having roommates here has been a highlight of my current living situation. After a long day, I always can sit down, eat dinner and have a simple exchange about the day or something random. It's a pseudo family. I'm moving to another shared housing situation but I have more private space. I may like living with others but I always think back to when I lived alone, I miss that space and time so much.
Then again, I'm the sort of person who likes to change things up regularly. I don't like changing up people but I do situations.
Time to make a change yet again. Where's my nest and how can I get there?
Monday, July 30, 2012
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Life on New Skinny Tires
Life just got a whole lot more interesting, at least where it comes to my bike riding life. I'd blogged months ago about my future new road bike. That bike just came to life.
In the words of someone else, it's "so awesome it's ridiculous." I totally agree.
Now I've ridden it for 130 miles and have loved every moment of it. Monday's ride to Beverly was some good quality time to be alone with it. Listen to how it quietly rolls along, even when it's hitting potholes. It is the ultimate bike. How can it get any better than this? It was built from the best material ever, created in the next town over by people who are true craftspeople, artists, creators. It was designed by the best. It's Ride Studio Cafe branded. RSC is a place that has been near and dear to me from the moment I stepped in the door last February, a time that feels like years ago in my familiarity of it yet like yesterday in my avidity for it.
The particulars of the bike have been detailed elsewhere, but for now, I wanted to capture this moment for the archives. This, the magical moment in time when the paint is perfect, the bike rides perfectly and all I want to do is be on it riding.
Take a look of all of its photos, too!
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Goal Oriented
Yesterday's goal: QOM on Strawberry Hill. Ooooh, the pang of could-have-would-have-if-only at 1 second off from the QOM:
I think I get why I like to race - it's so much easier to set a goal and reach it than any of the others I set in life and work. Really, going hard and hurting on a hill is easier than many other things. So now to translate that kind of competitive spirit to the rest of my life... Time at this point is a major limiter and it's very frustrating to not be able to do what I need to because I can't get enough uninterrupted time to accomplish anything.
I think I get why I like to race - it's so much easier to set a goal and reach it than any of the others I set in life and work. Really, going hard and hurting on a hill is easier than many other things. So now to translate that kind of competitive spirit to the rest of my life... Time at this point is a major limiter and it's very frustrating to not be able to do what I need to because I can't get enough uninterrupted time to accomplish anything.
Monday, July 09, 2012
What's Your Time Worth?
Last week I was confronted with a question: how much is my time worth? The way in which the question was presented hit me between the eyes and it was relevant to the discussion. This discussion had to do with how much would it be worth to me (paid in $ off of rent) to drive an elderly man to the grocery store, to doctor appointments, etc. The concept is a good one, having the conversation was not ridiculous. However, when put to me as how much it be worth to me to make a trip, say, to the grocery store to take someone shopping, I had to close my eyes, and respectfully ask that the conversation end.
Writing this small entry has some value in that putting things on "paper" helps me form thoughts and sort through issues. However, I should be hypercritical of the time this is taking at this moment and spend my time elsewhere. 10 minutes longer, then on to the next thing.
The answer to the question: my free time, the time I don't have planned, scheduled or otherwise committed is so small it's worth a premium that isn't payable monetarily.
The answer for anyone else: It doesn't matter what a person's salary is, though a contract employee might be able to point to an hour and say it costs $100 billable to a client. Still, would it be worth $100 or even $500 to lose the last moments of relaxation in a week? It comes down to quantity of free time and how much of it there is. Free time = rejuvenation time. It's the time that allows one to do well in the rest of life. Recharging and resting is as important as pushing forward on whatever it is that one does. It's just like racing. One gets stronger during rest and recovery times, but it's the training that lets the rest feel really good (and make one stronger). No champion has ever been made out of someone who trains continuously and never takes a break.
In the real world, I'd translate this to working very, very hard and then sleeping a reasonable amount, having some non-pressured waking moments and then working very hard again. This is my ideal that I'm striving for.
Still looking to find the balance, exactly, but feeling it's a bit better now than a few weeks ago... to be continued, 10 minutes is up and it's time to read something useful.
What's your time worth? Can you put a price on it?
Writing this small entry has some value in that putting things on "paper" helps me form thoughts and sort through issues. However, I should be hypercritical of the time this is taking at this moment and spend my time elsewhere. 10 minutes longer, then on to the next thing.
The answer to the question: my free time, the time I don't have planned, scheduled or otherwise committed is so small it's worth a premium that isn't payable monetarily.
The answer for anyone else: It doesn't matter what a person's salary is, though a contract employee might be able to point to an hour and say it costs $100 billable to a client. Still, would it be worth $100 or even $500 to lose the last moments of relaxation in a week? It comes down to quantity of free time and how much of it there is. Free time = rejuvenation time. It's the time that allows one to do well in the rest of life. Recharging and resting is as important as pushing forward on whatever it is that one does. It's just like racing. One gets stronger during rest and recovery times, but it's the training that lets the rest feel really good (and make one stronger). No champion has ever been made out of someone who trains continuously and never takes a break.
In the real world, I'd translate this to working very, very hard and then sleeping a reasonable amount, having some non-pressured waking moments and then working very hard again. This is my ideal that I'm striving for.
Still looking to find the balance, exactly, but feeling it's a bit better now than a few weeks ago... to be continued, 10 minutes is up and it's time to read something useful.
What's your time worth? Can you put a price on it?
Friday, July 06, 2012
Independence
Yesterday was the 4th of July. For some reason, the 4th has always somehow stood out to me - what I was doing on that day. I remember so vividly the year when, before the fireworks were going to go off, that my mom was reading an electronics book to my brother and me. My thoughts at the time had to do with how much I despised that book. Now I wish I had listened and not wasted energy on not listening. Almost every year, I remember the evening as a warm one, one that doesn't ever seem to end and smells of BBQ. Yesterday was all of those wonderful things minus the good-smelling smoking grill. Yesterday will stand out to me for years to come. I was stoked to be out pedaling dirt trails not far from here, feeling free, happy and absolutely content with life. I need nothing more than that.
In more recent years, the "independence" part of the day has been something that means more. We're independent as people, free in most things. I frequently think about the freedoms in this life and appreciate them. I have exercised my independence a bit more than most since I graduated from college, though within responsible limits. Independence day is one more day when I really like to think about being independent. What do I do and why? There is a solidly good reason behind everything I do, as non-apparent as it may seem to others taking a look in from a distance. Purely from decisions I have made do I live. I am completely independent though it may appear very differently.
After just saying I need nothing more, I have decided to move. Would I move if I were perfectly content? What is the definition of having more? I can be content, but I can choose not to be, as well. I haven't been completely comfortable where I've lived since I moved in. Trying to pinpoint what, exactly, it is that has kept me feeling unsettled here is impossible. I wish I could explain it to my housemates. There's a good chance it's that I'm living in the suburbs, off the beaten path. I like being where people are. Truth be told, I get energy being around people but more so when I'm not part of the conversation. I like to listen as an an observer, not necessarily a contributor influencing the direction of the discussion. One the coolest things about the new place is its proximity to public transportation and a big road. It's access to Boston that I don't have now. Independence from my car is one the things I value most, though I don't actively try to rid myself of it. I just want to know I'd survive if it decided not to start one morning. Being free of stress in my personal life is pretty much the most important thing to me. I thrive on a bit of stress and adrenaline at all other times of the day. There is a place where I need to be free of that.
Back to people and the behaviors of people. I've never known so many people in my life considering computer work typically involved the same 5-10 people on any given day. Being around this many people on a daily basis is very new to me, still. It's a game to me to try to figure out when it's going to be busy at work. When will it be quiet and how do the weather patterns affect people's coffee-drinking and bike-buying interest? On the 4th of July, it was a rainy morning and usually rainy mornings mean people drink more milk-heavy drinks. But on the 4th, they were drinking more cold brew coffee than ever. Was it merely psychological, the idea that it's the 4th and therefore hot no matter the temperature outside? I'd like to know what was going on at local ice cream establishments. I know I wanted ice cream yesterday. I'm programmed.
Tomorrow morning is coming fast. I'd hoped to start the day at sunrise as most days that start at that hour (4-4:15) are my best. What's coming tomorrow? Friday and the "start" to my work week as my Fridays often feel to me the way Mondays used to. This moment in time captured, finally, time to get going on to the next thing to move forward.
In more recent years, the "independence" part of the day has been something that means more. We're independent as people, free in most things. I frequently think about the freedoms in this life and appreciate them. I have exercised my independence a bit more than most since I graduated from college, though within responsible limits. Independence day is one more day when I really like to think about being independent. What do I do and why? There is a solidly good reason behind everything I do, as non-apparent as it may seem to others taking a look in from a distance. Purely from decisions I have made do I live. I am completely independent though it may appear very differently.
After just saying I need nothing more, I have decided to move. Would I move if I were perfectly content? What is the definition of having more? I can be content, but I can choose not to be, as well. I haven't been completely comfortable where I've lived since I moved in. Trying to pinpoint what, exactly, it is that has kept me feeling unsettled here is impossible. I wish I could explain it to my housemates. There's a good chance it's that I'm living in the suburbs, off the beaten path. I like being where people are. Truth be told, I get energy being around people but more so when I'm not part of the conversation. I like to listen as an an observer, not necessarily a contributor influencing the direction of the discussion. One the coolest things about the new place is its proximity to public transportation and a big road. It's access to Boston that I don't have now. Independence from my car is one the things I value most, though I don't actively try to rid myself of it. I just want to know I'd survive if it decided not to start one morning. Being free of stress in my personal life is pretty much the most important thing to me. I thrive on a bit of stress and adrenaline at all other times of the day. There is a place where I need to be free of that.
Back to people and the behaviors of people. I've never known so many people in my life considering computer work typically involved the same 5-10 people on any given day. Being around this many people on a daily basis is very new to me, still. It's a game to me to try to figure out when it's going to be busy at work. When will it be quiet and how do the weather patterns affect people's coffee-drinking and bike-buying interest? On the 4th of July, it was a rainy morning and usually rainy mornings mean people drink more milk-heavy drinks. But on the 4th, they were drinking more cold brew coffee than ever. Was it merely psychological, the idea that it's the 4th and therefore hot no matter the temperature outside? I'd like to know what was going on at local ice cream establishments. I know I wanted ice cream yesterday. I'm programmed.
Tomorrow morning is coming fast. I'd hoped to start the day at sunrise as most days that start at that hour (4-4:15) are my best. What's coming tomorrow? Friday and the "start" to my work week as my Fridays often feel to me the way Mondays used to. This moment in time captured, finally, time to get going on to the next thing to move forward.
Sunday, July 01, 2012
Time to mow
Being that it's important to blog, albeit much more important to sleep, every time I sit down and put something on the blog, I tell myself I'll keep doing it as it's interesting to capture the moments and the thoughts of each moment. I've got to commit to writing more frequently but less. That is the challenge.
After a weekend like this one, it's hard to wind down. Saturday evening was a successful art opening at the Ride Studio Cafe with photography by Susan Margot Ecker and today was the biggest group ride/special ride at the RSC that I've seen there. It was named the Crazy 88 and people will be talking about it for a long time. Today was hot, a bit on the sweltering side. The Sul Posto served gelato at the 1/2 way point on the ride. What could possibly be better on a hot day?
Yesterday I had a flashback - to how I felt when I used to race. I remember thinking that I didn't remember what it was like to be a regular person, to have time after work to enjoy leisurely activities, to have a Saturday or Sunday to do something recreational in street clothes before 3pm. I remember how much I liked living that sort of go-go-go life and thinking how I hoped I'd never revert back to a standard, normal life.
After slowing down on racing significantly, I dove into projects, the first being my kitchen island welding project. Then came consulting night and weekend work until I started to work too much during the day and filling spare time with committee meetings, small political battles interesting to fight as a homeowner, that sort of thing. I filled every moment with work and many extracurricular activities. I squeezed some time in there for family & friends, but not a lot. All of these things consumed me, but they all went in opposite directions.
It occurred to me that the reason I'm enjoying my life here so much is that it parallels the lifestyle that I used to have for a few years when I was the happiest. It was easy to blame the happiness on all of the endorphins from working out, training, and close friends who had the same lifestyle. It's starting to be obvious that it wasn't just that. Time outside on the bike is and always will be a great source of pleasure, but there's an umbrella category under which it lies.
Now I don't have idle time ever. Every moment is packed with something and there are interesting projects around every corner. I have a hard time pulling myself away. When I do, I feel a tinge of regret at the lost time.
There are some new projects that I'm dying to work on. Right now, there's a growing list of them. Redesigning this blog and my website are on the list.
As I was thinking about this stuff, I was mowing the lawn, very standard/normal, odd. There is more mowing to be done and I need to vacuum. I'm dying to go on another long ride. Trying to remember that it wasn't that long ago that I got to do a long ride and I've ridden a few shorter rides since then. No accomplishment happens when I'm riding except that I feel great afterward. It buys me more energy to get things done. Maybe that's accomplishment alone. As I feel time flying past and I'm getting older, I feel more pressure to do some great things now as I had originally intended to do 10 years ago.
As for today, it's a matter of doing one thing at a time and trying not to feel completely overwhelmed at what has to happen be between now and tonight, coming much too soon.
After a weekend like this one, it's hard to wind down. Saturday evening was a successful art opening at the Ride Studio Cafe with photography by Susan Margot Ecker and today was the biggest group ride/special ride at the RSC that I've seen there. It was named the Crazy 88 and people will be talking about it for a long time. Today was hot, a bit on the sweltering side. The Sul Posto served gelato at the 1/2 way point on the ride. What could possibly be better on a hot day?
Yesterday I had a flashback - to how I felt when I used to race. I remember thinking that I didn't remember what it was like to be a regular person, to have time after work to enjoy leisurely activities, to have a Saturday or Sunday to do something recreational in street clothes before 3pm. I remember how much I liked living that sort of go-go-go life and thinking how I hoped I'd never revert back to a standard, normal life.
After slowing down on racing significantly, I dove into projects, the first being my kitchen island welding project. Then came consulting night and weekend work until I started to work too much during the day and filling spare time with committee meetings, small political battles interesting to fight as a homeowner, that sort of thing. I filled every moment with work and many extracurricular activities. I squeezed some time in there for family & friends, but not a lot. All of these things consumed me, but they all went in opposite directions.
It occurred to me that the reason I'm enjoying my life here so much is that it parallels the lifestyle that I used to have for a few years when I was the happiest. It was easy to blame the happiness on all of the endorphins from working out, training, and close friends who had the same lifestyle. It's starting to be obvious that it wasn't just that. Time outside on the bike is and always will be a great source of pleasure, but there's an umbrella category under which it lies.
Now I don't have idle time ever. Every moment is packed with something and there are interesting projects around every corner. I have a hard time pulling myself away. When I do, I feel a tinge of regret at the lost time.
There are some new projects that I'm dying to work on. Right now, there's a growing list of them. Redesigning this blog and my website are on the list.
As I was thinking about this stuff, I was mowing the lawn, very standard/normal, odd. There is more mowing to be done and I need to vacuum. I'm dying to go on another long ride. Trying to remember that it wasn't that long ago that I got to do a long ride and I've ridden a few shorter rides since then. No accomplishment happens when I'm riding except that I feel great afterward. It buys me more energy to get things done. Maybe that's accomplishment alone. As I feel time flying past and I'm getting older, I feel more pressure to do some great things now as I had originally intended to do 10 years ago.
As for today, it's a matter of doing one thing at a time and trying not to feel completely overwhelmed at what has to happen be between now and tonight, coming much too soon.
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