Just Keep Pedaling

It wasn't that long ago that I was freaked out by riding on dirt. Saturday, I was bombing down dirt roads at 45+ mph with my eyes closed.

What happened to the good ol' days of riding for hours upon hours on smooth pavement? It's been months in the making, as I've been very fortunate to have been introduced to great off-road trails not far from home and not too technical in nature. Being in the woods, lit by a headlight and surrounded by plants, trees and grasses growing over the trail wildly, is indescribably cool. Saving it for a blog another day.

The Rapha Gentlemen's Race this year was Epic with a capital E. It was all things packed into one innocent-enough looking day. I know Pamela will be blogging the full story and she'll do the story justice. I want to see what she had to say as the race was different for everyone out there.

I got invited on a tandem team, the Epic Avengers: this is a team of 6 people, with three tandems among us. I had a total of one day of prep time and considering my work schedule, that meant I didn't even have time to get to the grocery store to buy food for the race. Somehow a single load of laundry got done, but that was it.

For the first time in years, I wished I'd been training all winter & felt a bit of regret at that. I don't love being this out of shape and away from the race scene (it's by choice), but when I got an email telling me I could do this race, I almost leaped out of my bike shoes (I was on a casual bike ride at the time). 

The course was 60% dirt roads for 120 miles (for those who finished). I hadn't met the pilot or tandem I'd be riding with until the night before the race. Piloting a tandem is no small job and for a course like this, experience is key.

Trust is as well. Trusting the guy who's picking the line and handling the brakes is just about the most important thing. Second most: pedal. The stoker has to help the bike go and let the pilot do his job. I promised the pilot, Todd, that I would do just that. I was told that Todd was an experienced pilot, he came with an impressive resume, but is nicknamed The Jokester. So at what point does he take things seriously? I'd have to find out.

Pamela & John, tandem partners in life (though they rode different tandems for the sake of the team this weekend) are rider extraordinaires in countless ways. I know them pretty well as we've spent hours chatting at the Ride Studio Cafe, first having met at Mt. Washington for the hillclimb last August (I was there to man the Ciclismo Classico tent but definitely not to race.) We've been able to ride some together, but nothing like what we did Saturday. Pamela has logged 9,000 miles for the year so far and takes 2 days off the bike each month or something like that. John rides like he was born on a bike. He was part of the men's winning Green Mountain Double Century team last weekend.

Dena, a friend of Pamela's and co-winner w/Pamela of the Green Mountain double century last weekend (yes, just last weekend), knows no distance barriers. She's an engine, a terrific pilot and fun to suffer with...actually, she doesn't suffer while the rest of us do. Superhuman.

Then there's Rebecca who is a relatively new cyclist compared with everyone else and was so eager to be there. I was wondering if she could comprehend the distance or dirt as I didn't know what her background were with either. She hadn't ridden a tandem until the afternoon before this race. It was impressive watching her on the back of the tandem as she and John flew down hills during the day. On command, she stood smoothly, as if she'd been a stoker her whole life. She looked fresh and happy all day long. What's even more shocking is that she was both of those things right through to the finish.

Not knowing all that much about this race as I'm new to the area and to the world of long-distance racing & this particular race, I had to get schooled on it quickly. According to Rapha: 

The point of Rapha’s Gentlemen's Races is to inspire a different type of racing. Being unmarshalled, unsupported and unsanctioned, there's no better way to find out if you're a true team, pulling together through the difficulties and attrition to get each other to the finish, or just six individuals racing the clock.

The day started off cool, an absolutely perfect temperature with clear skies in a gorgeous part of the country (2 hrs by car north of here on the NH/VT border). We were thrilled that it didn't look like overheating would be an issue. Nor would rain. Hahahahahaha. We stayed hydrated and none of us got too hot, except for Dena who was happy when the temps dropped much lower later in the day at which time she was smiling and told us of her overheating earlier. We were shaking from the cold. I'm jumping ahead.

We started on smooth pavement at 8:09am. Breakfast was at 5:30 and I'm happy to report I was wide awake and ready to go early. Adrenaline is powerful, though I felt most of my pre-race jitters the day before. No coffee for me until a minute before the start when the Rapha espresso machine was serving up very tasty shots. 

The whole ride up until mile 60 or so was fun, beautiful, the dirt sections were great and time flew by with the miles. Todd and I had a couple of early mechanical problems with the chain jumping into the spokes. We got that fixed on a nice uphill section. An extra section we threw in as we'd gone off course, taking us down a screaming descent just to learn that we had to return up that hill. Teammates Dena and Pamela had some mechanicals on their bike, at a point where we were all at separate parts of the road. Fortunately, the ladies are quite the mechanics and were able to get going again to roll into the "lunch" stop. Other than that, we didn't have a flat all day. The new Seven titanium tandem steed that John & Pamela just bought for their anniversary worked flawlessly all day long.

Climbing was fun on the tandem. Much more so than when I'm climbing alone. I think much of that had to do with my knowing that I'd get up the hill because if I couldn't do it, someone else would be able to provide the power. The riding itself never made me nervous since I knew I had someone to work with. I don't like being in on scary rides by myself. Anytime I've ever shared a stupid riding experience with someone, I feel much more at ease & fortunately, that doesn't happen often. (Sentence inserted for benefit of family members.)

Around mile 65, the weather changed. Dark clouds hovered overhead and we were climbing. It started raining. Rain isn't a big deal, though I was wondering if it'd cause mud and what that would do to the slipperiness of the roads. I'd love to say I can remember every mile of the whole ride, but I don't. Thunder and lightning freak me out like nothing else. I descended like a mad woman down Mt Evans after seeing a single bolt of lightning setting a personal best descending time...aborting the whole ride w/o a second thought. So I am not afraid to bail when safety is at stake.

To shorten the story, we were poured on and pictures weren't possible. We crested the hill as the storm reached us at the same time. The descent was very fast, wet roads didn't seem to slow us down. Later I found out how much breaking hurt Todd's hands and how miserable he was up front (not that he said it in those words as he was still in what appeared to be a good mood. I got quiet, Todd wasn't freaked out like I was as we were under trees. He said that as long as we weren't in a clearing, he wouldn't be worried. Moments later we arrived in a tree-less part of the road. Didn't take much to pedal faster than we had all day long at that point. Luckily, it didn't last long, but the rain did. Temps dropped and he was shaking badly. The stoker is protected from the elements so much more than the pilot. Finally, we arrived at a general store where they served hot chocolate. Dena treated all of us. She was the only one who really didn't need the hot chocolate as she was smiling and happy at the coolness that the rest of us would classify as cold.

Plastic garbage bags were supplied by Pamela, she made each of us a jacket. Warm, comfy, happier. At one point, John started laughing and couldn't stop, the rest of us followed suit. It was funny, but who knew why. Maybe because we looked funny! The normal people in street clothes at the store were great. I'd love to know what they thought about the freezing, wet, silly cyclists.

The rain subsided and stopped, it looked like we'd gotten out of the storm. Still milling about at the store and recuperating, we didn't treat any of the last rest stops like race ones. The first ones we'd tried to make good time in getting in & getting out. Being fast was futile toward the end. Then the thunder started up again, my heart sank when I heard it roll up. It had caught us. We got going and the rain came down again, it was significantly harder for me to keep going at that point. Again, rain isn't a problem, it's the lightning that I don't like.

Mile 85 was soon after the hot chocolate stop. Muddy, rocky, rooty, the most technically challenging off-road portion of the course was here & we'd awaited this point all day. Thanks to the garbage bag on Todd, I couldn't see anything. I just kept pedaling on cue and he got us through. There were a couple of spots where the tandem was stopped by the mud or other obstructions. I put a foot down and sank into the mud. I hadn't realized before that that we were even riding in mud. Keeping the stoker clueless is a key to success.

On we rode until the course took a turn into the heart of the storm. At that point, we stopped and took shelter under someone's garage & waited for our teammates to show up. The race director gave us an alternate route so we could avoid the storm and ride to the finish cutting some miles out. Finally, we were all back together again and we rolled to the finish easily. The sky cleared as if nothing had ever transpired in those wild, remote hills of Vermont. Upon crossing the border back into NH, Todd let Vermont know what he thought about it. We all needed him to say the things he did to shake off what we'd just been through. We were bold enough to take off the bags and relax. Pedaling on... suddenly we had 1 mile left to go (I thought we still had 10+ remaining). What a pleasant surprise!

We pulled into the parking lot 10 hours after we'd started the Epic Avenging and we were smiling almost as much as we had at the beginning of the day. It was fun. I would do it again. I hope to do it again.

According to Todd, I was "well behaved." But he assured me that since I had taken on that course and the challenge, that I wasn't one of the well-behaved women who doesn't make history.

And what did I learn about Todd? That he doesn't take anything where it comes to riding seriously except an open field with lightning overhead and the sharp turns at the bottom of steep descents. Oh, and pre-race nutrition. He was quite concerning about eating popcorn and drinking beer the night before the race. Maybe he knows something the rest of us (me) don't. He knows how to handle a bike (with my weight on it), pedal (again, with my weight on it) and keep a good disposition even when he's shivering enough and has cold enough hands that most people wouldn't be able to keep a bike going straight and fast.

There's one for history: the Rapha Gentlemen's Race 2012 is in the books. The Epic Avengers didn't officially finish, but we officially lived and had a great time on the road together. I got back in the saddle to do the hardest ride of my life after not much riding at all for the past year.

Huge thanks to all of my teammates who worked so hard for each other throughout the long day. Thank you to everyone who brought bikes & equipment (which will never be the same again after all of that mud & grit), those (Pamela!) who organized us all at the very last minute and who had faith that we could accomplish this race together though odds said there was no way we could pull it off at the last minute.

For full visuals, visit my Facebook page!

Are you ready to race your bike?

Here's an article I wrote for the Bike Hugger blog back in 2007, at the height of my competitive racing. It's timeless advice. Enjoy.

April 9, 2007

The Team Bike Hugger blog prompted questions from readers as to what it takes to start road racing. I hope this inspires at least a few of you to get out there and experience the thrill of racing first-hand. Here is my take on the fundamentals of racing:

1. Anyone can race. You can be a successful racer.
2. Racing isn’t rocket science. The rules are simple, many are common-sense.
3. You do not need to train like a pro or be a talented athlete (aka a freak of nature) to begin racing.
4. You must be passionate about riding your bike.
5. Racing is addictive. After you race once, the habit is usually formed and very difficult to break.

These are true for men and women racers, though there are significant differences in the men’s and women’s fields.

Anyone Can Race

Just a quick word on how I started: Four years ago, I bought my first road bike. Prior to getting the bike, all I did was walk my dog after work. Once I got the bike, I commuted to and from work for 2 months, did a few group rides and, on a whim, signed up for my first race. I dabbled with racing that season in Seattle. The season after that, I had a blast racing cat 4 (beginner) in Colorado. Last year I got serious about racing (I got a coach and read every article and book that I could about racing) so as to continue to enjoy it as a cat 3. The more I race, the more I want to race and the faster I want to go. At this point, my lifestyle is very bike/racing-centric and I can’t imagine going back to the “normal” life I used to lead since this one is so fun and fulfilling. And I still have a lot to learn and a long way to go. The stamp shown here was on the envelope that contained prize money for winning a race two weeks ago. What I’m saying here is anyone can do it, you just need to start.

I saw a quote recently that went something like:

“A year from now you’re going to wish you started today.”

That being said, bike racing is for people of all ages so don’t despair if you wish you had started years ago. It’s not too late. One of my racing heros, Tina Pic was born in 1966. And don’t forget Ned Overend who is over 50 and still racing, coming second to Scott Moninger (BMC) in the Mt. Evans hill climb by 5 seconds last year.

There are different categories of racers, where the beginners are cat 4 (for women) or cat 4 or 5 depending on state (for men), intermediate racers are cat 3 and the most experienced and faster racers are cat 1/pro or 2. Sometimes there are “open” fields where all categories of racers race together. This means a pro/cat 1 racer could be racing against a brand new cat 4 racer. This often happens with women’s fields in the early season races. I really don’t think it’s a good idea, if you’re just starting, to race against competition that is so much stronger. It won’t be a race, it’ll be a mental beating down. I made that mistake once. It caused me to stop racing for a couple of months. Luckily, the guys on the team I was racing for were really supportive and they helped build my confidence back.

That reminds me to mention–it is far easier to start racing as a woman. Women racers are generally supportive of each other and I’ve found the men to be very encouraging and supportive of the women, too. Usually, though, women are scared to ride with the guys or have some excuse that I can’t understand.

Mike Magnuson, author of “Heft on Wheels” said it well: “Nobody wants to hear you whine.” My experience has shown that guys respect the women who ride hard, even if they are riding slower than the men.

Hopefully, you now see that you can race. It’s all a matter of whether or not you want to.

Racing Isn’t Rocket Science

Check out the rulebook of USA Cycling. Sorry, it’s 138 pages long, but actually doesn’t take too long. Check it out, you’ll learn a lot. There are a few major rules to follow, and usually they’ll be explained to the racers prior to the race start. The biggie is the yellow-line rule. There are so many things to learn about racing, for example, how to corner properly, sprint, work in an eschelon, etc. It certainly helps to talk to people about these things prior to racing so you know the basics, but most of this stuff will be learned while racing. Every race I enter, I learn something new. So don’t worry about not being prepared at first. Experience is the best teacher. A few things, though, that are good to be proficient at going into the first race:

Know how to “hold your line” Be able to drink and ride with one hand Be comfortable riding in the drops through corners and while descending Be comfortable getting out of the saddle on climbs Know how to draft and be comfortable riding close with people on all sides of you Stay relaxed, elbows bent at all times.

It’s helpful to pre-ride the course just for peace of mind. The less nervous you are, the safer you will be and you’re more likely to enjoy the ride.

You Don’t Have to Be a Freak of Nature

There will be people out there who are insanely strong, but the majority of cat 4 racers are fairly new to racing, and competing. You will meet others who are similar to you. Bike racing is a unique sport in that there is no stereotypical body type that defines the successful racer.

Love Thy Bike

Many people get into bike racing because they like competing. This is a good reason, but think about it, only a tiny fraction of time will you actually be racing the bike. Many hours a week, even as a recreational racer, will be spent on training and group rides. You gotta love being out there on the road, sometimes doing intervals alone, to have fun and be successful racing…and to guard against burn-out. Years from now, I know that I won’t be racing, but I also know my quality of life won’t be the same if I’m not going on long bike rides. So my top priority is to love every minute on the bike and not do anything to jeopardize that.

Racing is Addictive

Ah, c’mon, try it, you’ll like it. One thing, though, if you really don’t feel like racing, don’t let anyone talk you into it. Get to know your body and your gut instinct. Racing can be dangerous and it’s important to listen to your subconscious. But do try that first race and meet other addicts, you just might be surprised at how difficult it is to stay away from future races.

Obviously, these are just the basics. There’s so, so much more to racing. I think that’s one of the things that really attracts me to the sport. It’s something I was able to do when I was really new to bike riding, but I’m always learning and growing as a racer and as a person.

Good luck!

April Showers

It's been much too long since the last blog post, but it's time to put up something. This blog was far more interesting when I was racing or traveling. Someone made a great suggestion that I should blog about my experiences in a small business and life as I find it daily at work. The story can't be told yet - it'll need to wait until there's time, it could be years. I like the idea of being completely immersed in the business and having a singular focus on it. If my first book will be called Gelato Diet, the second one will need to be Affogato - translated this means drowned. It's also the name of a really tasty drink comprised of an espresso shot poured over gelato. The many meanings of this will work too well.

I've been fairly successful at keeping distractions out of my life - this is something I wasn't good at in Denver. There, I split my time in so many directions that it made moving forward in any single one nearly impossible. But most of what I did there was excellent preparation for what I am doing now. Toastmasters is one of the most important extracurriculars I've ever done. It'd be wise for me to return here, but I suppose adding a speech homework assignment to my already impossible schedule doesn't sound like a smart thing to do.

2011 in Review - Welcome 2012

Seeing as though it's the start of a new year, it's as good a time as any to say something here. This post needs pictures. Maybe I'll add them - but I know if I wait to get them all together, this might never be posted. So here goes.

2011 was a pretty cool year. It started with coming to Boston from a short & sweet visit in Denver. I came out to Beantown for a contract job with Ciclismo Classico to do sales & marketing. I stayed with a really wonderful host family in January, house-sat in February and by mid-March was back in Denver only to pack my stuff and come back to Boston permanently.

How'd that happen? I'll never know exactly. I guess it has a lot to do with just going with it. Never thought I'd end up in Boston. Always wanted to be back on the East Coast since I'd lived in the Albany area, but Boston didn't ever occur to me. Even when it was time to come to Boston, I wasn't particularly looking forward to it. Who moves to Boston in January and enjoys it?

I found I liked the endless snow of January more because of the novelty and it didn't make things all that much more difficult considering the buses and my living situation. This year, I'll admit, I'm glad the snow is holding off.

Early in February, I dropped into the Ride Studio Cafe for the first time - a place that quickly became my weekend home--a place that generously supplied me with bike rides, friends and community. I'd been fortunate to befriend many of my co-workers, too, so I didn't get lonely or stir-crazy during the winter. I also enjoyed my job, so that made it easy to be content.

In March, I had a terrific visit with family & friends in Denver and it concluded with my packing my car and driving it and my mom across the country back to Boston. The time with my mom was the best we've had in recent years. We got to get all caught up and reconnected. I've now road tripped with almost everyone in my family at this point (individually) - and each trip was significantly great with each person. That much uninterrupted time to talk is valuable and almost impossible to have this day in age.

Mom had a great time in Boston - she knows the place better than I do now. Having her enjoy it here meant a lot to me and it helped me feel that I was making a sane choice in coming here.

April meant the Boston Marathon in Boston, Patriots Day (it's a huge holiday here) and a visit from good friends who were here for the marathon.

May found me traveling to California for the final stage of the Tour of California in Thousand Oaks. Yeah, that's about as cool as business trips go. Riding through Hidden Valley in picture perfect weather  was sweet.

June was spent riding long miles in prep for the Brewery to Brewery ride, the longest ride of my life at 150 miles, completed in a little over 8 hrs. One of the century training rides leading up to the B to B was in the top 10 of my favorite rides ever. I also made it back to Denver for a long weekend. It was intense, quality visiting with good friends and my family. It was a perfect time to be back in Denver.

July meant a bit of racing, just to keep it interesting. I discovered that I still enjoy crits, even after all of the long Italian races. Nothing like racing to spice up life a little.

At the end of July, I had the real treat of visiting my Aunt & Uncle & cousins in upstate NY. It was the longest I'd spent with any of them, ever, and it was such a great visit. I visited other cousins at the same time, reconnecting with them, too. Short, but precious time. So glad those visits worked out as they did.

August found my bro and uncle here in Boston. We had a blast exploring Boston, we rode around, ate good food and just had a fun visit. When we're together, we're all kids.

After the first weekend in August, I began prepping for my new life - as the curator for the Ride Studio Cafe. Since then, I haven't paused for much more than a moment. I work (though it's hard to call it work) a lot and I love it. Finally, I found what I should be doing that makes sense for me. Finally I'm on the path that I've been searching out my whole life. So many things make sense now that didn't necessarily add up before during other times in my life. September, October and November were full of events at the RSC. December was just as busy, but for non-event reasons. I learned how to pull a shot of espresso and make coffee drinks in December. That was a highlight of the month as well as Christmas that, once I got through it, was the icing on the cake in proving to me that I am where I should be and in a place I am very much in the middle of making my new home.

2011 ended on a nice note and I wouldn't have wanted to spend it any other way. Today, 2012 started great and ended even better. I sealed the day with a trip to the bookstore for some uninterrupted magazine time. Finally, I'm getting into a groove and getting to a place where I'm living the way I want to live.

Cheers to a happy, healthy & fun 2012!

Life in Boston

[The first part of this blog post was written on 11/16. As usual, I wrote what I could & never published it. I have countless posts in this same state of not being finished. The second part of the post is written today 12/8.]

Tuesday I made it back to Upstate NY - this is the place where I started my adult life and it had become somewhat of a dreamland in my mind as it had been so many years since I've been here. I've  spent a few thoughts thinking back to this little wonderful place and missing it to a degree--as I always said that I knew I belonged back here when I lived here before so to leave definitely wasn't in keeping with what I felt. (The move was supposed to be temporary, there were other factors. Long story.) There are a lot of very special places here that set this part of the country apart. For others it may be different, but for me, it's a best-of sort of place.

Who would guess that this is the place to eat well - I've been all over the country looking for a co-op as good as the Honest Weight Food Co-op (HWFC) found in Albany. The HWFC is the best. And they've expanded significantly since I was there last (years ago). This is a place that practices what it preaches, is fueled by the community caring about local sources of natural foods. It's what people think they're buying when they go to Whole Foods. But this is the real deal. They've kept their standards high, prices low and they've been profitable enough to move locations in now what should be a year or less.

So that's the place to buy groceries. Period.

I wrote most of this blog in Saratoga Springs in a fantastic coffee shop & bagel store. Since the last time I was here, it's doubled its size. Located right across the street from Starbucks, it's thriving. They roast their own beans & the coffee is good. Not sure I ever drank their coffee before, but I've enjoyed their tea and bagels immensely.

But before I came here, it was necessary to stop at the Four Seasons, a small health food store. It's fairly average except for its vegan salad/food bar. It's the best lunch and dinner. So I picked up some to-go food for the drive home. I've had countless meals at that place.

There's nothing too remarkable -on paper- about living where I used to. It's a quiet place (now I have Boston to compare it to...I see how much quieter and simpler it is here). Something I needed to figure out during this trip is why I have so often thought back to life here and wondered if I should have ever left. I know the answer to the question: absolutely. I did the right thing. I wouldn't be in Boston now had I not left. It's good to live close to here. I am thrilled I'm a short 3-hr drive. It's an easy drive, so long as it's possible to get out of Boston traffic. It's a nice life, to be sure. I have been able to sort out the reality from the dream...well, maybe.

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12/8 - Now to resume the blog! FINALLY. I've been dying to get back here, but with too much going on at work, this has had to take a back seat. When I get time away from the shop, the last thing I want to be doing is writing. Reading has catapulted to the top of my list, actually. It's something I've missed very much and once I got out of the nearly-perfect rhythm of my Denver loft life, I haven't been able to get back in sync since. This past Tuesday I had the day off from work. I promised myself I wouldn't get out of bed for hours so I could read. My plan was interrupted, but I did make reasonable progress. Every day is about making progress, I've learned to accept that I can't make a full change in anything instantly for many reasons.

One question that I've been working on answering since I've been living a rather unsettled life is what makes a place home. When I lived in upstate NY, I felt like I was home and at home. When I was in Seattle (Bainbridge), my life situation was similar, but I wasn't home. It never quite felt right. I never missed that part of my life after I left it. Was that a mental attitude I had toward the place? I went with an open mind & moved there without ever having seen the place before. And no, I wasn't going in scared about the stories of all of the rain.

For a few reasons, I never really had close friends in Seattle. One of those reasons was that I lived a very long way from work and I did have friends there - but none I could spend any non-work time with. In NY, I made true friends. This is likely a big reason for the difference. But was there something about the Seattle itself that prohibited me from calling it home?

Denver was easy to call home because it was home. I think there's a special relationship anyone has with the place they were raised. I remember the one or two days every summer Mom would take me and my brother to downtown Denver. It was typically the highlight of the summer. The best part was when the sun would go down on us as we were walking around town - through the sometimes scary streets  and sketchy neighborhoods. To catch a glimpse of the Denver skyline at night was absolute beauty. I got cold chills being there and seeing the silhouetted buildings. Just thinking about them now gives me the same cold chills. Back in those days, I didn't care much for nature, but I loved the city.

Italy was a whole different story. I started getting into "nesting" mode when I got to Italy. Basically, after traveling for such an extended period of time, it felt like it was time to settle down. It would have been easy for me to stay there for a very long time except that I got deathly homesick right around this time last year. I had friends and a good community there so for the time I was there, it was home-like. I still never felt perfectly comfortable due to the language barrier and the fact that it was devoid of my U.S. family and friends. The ocean is too big and not being able to drive to/from my family really didn't feel good. On top of everything, the political situation there makes the U.S. look like a perfect system. I really started to appreciate what we have in the U.S. more than ever. And it felt good to miss my family so much. Life is not a string of high moments. The melancholy sprinkled in with awesome times gives life its flavor and depth. My time in Italy can definitely be characterized with more emotional highs and lows as I tried to make a life there truly from scratch.

Now this brings us to the present day of life in Boston. Last year at this time I could never have dreamed that I would be here now. It's Dec. 8th. and not that many days from Christmas. This year I'm going to try to suck it up and be here on Christmas. I love being in Denver at my folks' place on Christmas. There's nothing like it. I have been there almost every Christmas since I was born. Same family room, almost the same tree.

My relationship with Boston remains uncharacterized so far. I don't have words to explain my experience here yet. Boston has a personality all its own; it's like a quiet, attractive introvert--it takes some time to peel back its layers to truly get to its heart and understand what it really is--and discover what it is exactly that makes it attractive. Many of these types of people live in Boston...a lot of really intelligent people whose life stories are all interesting and not even remotely obvious from a casual conversation.

The cost of Boston is frustrating. After living very comfortably for years, I have to live with others in a cold house to afford to live. Fortunately, the company of others keeps me from getting too lonely and it's good for me to not be too comfortable. Every day I make a conscious decision that I am living the life I want to live not the life that is simply too comfortable that changing it would be the hard thing to do. Slipping back to my old Denver life would be so easy, there wouldn't be challenge in it. I miss my friends and family there, but I'm not stagnated by this. It is what it is. Again, experiencing the various emotions associated with being in a new place, removed from the comfort of knowing people and places (and the roads!) is part of the human experience. I don't have a comfort zone established here yet where I can get a hug anytime I need it and sometimes I do really need a hug--like everyone. This lack of external comfort helps me step back and ground myself in things interior, not in others. It's a chance to get to know more deeply my faith, God and self. And it certainly helps me appreciate those who do give me a hand when they don't realize they are offering one. I've always been surrounded by really good people and here is definitely no exception. I am really, really thankful for the wonderful people I've met and had a chance to spend time with in my life and I regularly remember how very, very lucky I am.

This is something like the 20th blog post I've written on many of these topics but I have yet to publish any of them as they ended up unfinished--without conclusion or graceful end. This one I'm posting. Someday it'll be interesting to go back and read. It's possible someone will read this and relate. I should have gone to bed hours ago but I've needed to put these thoughts down in some sort of coherent form; it has needed to happen for quite a long time. So I'm just going to keep writing, feel free to stop reading.

Why I always end up taking the hardest path is not clear. I believe it comes down to boredom avoidance. When every day is easy and fun, it's also boring and accomplishing great things only comes after big challenges have been overcome. I tend to force myself to do the things that I know will scare me. And no, I won't be jumping out of a plane anytime soon, but you get the point. Nothing that worthwhile is obtained very easily. When I say this, I'm talking more about everything but my personal relationships. If there's one thing I don't like it's tricky personal situations. In fact, I avoid them like the plague. I've been fortunate to have an almost drama-free life. I welcome a simple, easy personal life that is constant day-to-day. Right now, it's easy being alone--the one way to guarantee a drama-free existence. Eventually, though, it makes sense to incorporate someone else into the day-to-day. As much as I try to convince myself that I should stay single forever, it doens't quite feel right. So we'll see what the future holds. I'm not worrying about it or trying to engineer it, though I'd be lying to say I don't think about it and what I want it to look like.

The one thing I have yet to mention is work. Work is the greatest part of my life right now and it consumes almost all of my waking time. I like it this way. I can't say for sure that I'll always want it to be all-consuming, but I feel that if it weren't, it would be hard to do it well enough to feel good about it. Right now I can say I'm giving it everything I have to give and when I take time off, it's only to ensure proper focus and energy for when I'm back at it. What I'm doing now is partially everything I have ever wanted (awesome team, creative freedom, ability to take ownership, cool toys (in this case it's bikes), hands-on work, not sitting at a computer) and partially everything I've always tried to avoid (sales, long hours, retail). This odd mix makes for the perfect job for me and I relish it every day. In every tricky situation, I learn so much and it's finally a place where all of the theory presented in business books has real application. Finally. Now I read what I can but do wish there were more time to do so. I'm having fun, am constantly challenged and really appreciating the times when it's appropriate to just laugh out loud to break the intensity.

With that, you've heard the very latest and I have finally been able to put my thoughts in logical enough order to publish them. Thank you for the chance to do so, I somehow feel significantly better now than when I started this back on the 16th of November. Good night and good luck.

A moment to catch up

First, happy fall. Where'd the summer go? Not fair to ask that question, this summer was full and I can't complain that the summer has rolled into fall. No, I'm not completely ready for winter at all or the cooler temps, but this is life and the seasons are important. I'd get stir-crazy without them.

The last part of summer was been completely consumed, basically from the moment my uncle and bro left town, with a significant change in my life. I'd mentioned a blog post or two back about the blogging that I've done that were a series of unfinished posts I felt unworthy of publishing to the world. In a few spare moments, I went back and read those posts. It was a bit eerie, they were all centered around my burning desire to do something that very closely resembles what I am doing now.

Actually, what I'm doing now is something I've wanted for a very, very long time in concept. But being the Curator for a bike and coffee shop was not what I had in mind. What I had been thinking, in all honesty, never looked as good in my imagination to the reality I have found myself in now. There is a lot to accomplish in limited waking hours; it's work. But work where effort yields results is sweet. And doing work in an area where one is passionate and making forward progress: it's the definition of fun. This is that kind of work. It's quite similar to what I experienced back in college with the senior design project with the Sharp Shooters. I've been chasing that experience ever since. It's not going to be easy, nor did I expect it to be...would it be fun if it were? Nah.

Since my lifestyle hasn't truly been defined here yet (too new to town and haven't established any patterns with friends), it's so much easier to not feel like I'm giving up anything to spend time working. No, no, this is not to be confused with any kind of workaholism tendencies. I've proven that I know how to take time off and relax; however, I finally get to dictate my own schedule without being on the schedule of someone else...I'm liking this degree of freedom...a lot.

Sure, I would like to have more time in every day to see and talk to everyone who I should, but that's a losing battle no matter how many more hours there are in every day.

This post is something I wrote a couple of weeks ago & it's high time to get it published. There are a few more posts to go up soon (maybe tonight?) too. As fast as time is flying, I know if I don't get this up there *now* it'll just never happen. A little is better than nothing. Part of my job involves maintaining a blog...which I need to write soooo much more for, but I guess this is the only part of my personal life that I am investing time into, so it's important. Then I'll get into blogging some cool bike stuff. There are about 1,000 things to write about. For as long as I've ridden a bike, every day is a new wealth of info, a real insight into so much, and so much of that is worth sharing. In time.

The Next Bike

This post was written July 12, 2011, modified slightly to be appropriate to post on Oct 12. As you may be aware, I got the itch a few months ago to start checking out new bicycles. Why? Not because I need a new bike. A typical person waits until their bike breaks or gets stolen before getting a new one. Everyone (er, almost) everyone I know who owns an Orbea got it as a result of insurance money after their bike got stolen. This isn't saying anything one way or the other about bike theft or Orbeas, just a point of observation. I bet you have secretly hoped your bike would vanish for the opportunity to buy a new one. I left my Giant in Italy partially for that reason...and sometimes two humongous suitcases and a backpack are all one can humanly handle at the Rome airport.

Note carefully that I chose to take the carbon-fiber Giant (TCR-0 T-Mobile race bike) and not steel Serotta to Italy in the first place. I didn't go with the intention to race or even ride fast so the reason boils down to wanting the bike I cared for less in the foreign country. In this example, the expensive Giant had less value to me than the Serotta at one tenth the cost. 

Some bikes actually feel like they have a soul. Others do not. They all have their place, depending on circumstances. But be forewarned, buying a bike with a soul is a commitment and putting it up on Craig's List could be emotionally impossible. 

Back to my steel steed. This bike has a soul. It asks me to ride it and is proud to go. But it's growing long in the tooth and when it sees a hill, it is reluctant. Its paint is chipped and has old components (though I discovered with a good tune-up, it could pass as being much newer than it is). It's more "mine" with its candy-cane handlebars and I do take some pride in it. 

But yet, I remember the joy of my first bike, the yellow and black one. It, too, was steel, but it fit me pretty closely (it wasn't custom, but was built for me when I ordered it)--it felt like it knew it was mine alone. The day I went to pick it up from the bike shop was so exciting, though I don't know why because before I rode it, I didn't care all that much for riding. Maybe it was because of the investment & my hope--it was an expensive bike and I had a lot of friends who were die-hard riders and their words of encouragement helped get me excited. 

Credit must be given to the sales guy who helped me in 2003, who explained it plain as day, I remember him saying something to this effect: "If you want to like riding, you need a bike that will give you a great ride. Otherwise, it will just sit there, you won't ride it and then it will be a waste. Get a good bike, you'll be addicted." Good advice. That's what convinced me the bike would be a reasonable investment and I committed to buy a bike then. (Turns out it was a good investment: it held its value so when I sold it to a woman who needed a bike to show her the thrill of riding as I had needed when I got it, it had only lost a few hundred dollars in value. So it was like buying a great bike for 4-5 years for ~$500.)

Before that bike, I didn't even care much for riding bikes. Most people have stories from when they were a kid, when they took their bike out and explored for hours in the woods or went to meet up with friends without their parents. My experience was a little different: I rode in circles on a short street and once in awhile got out on the bike path, but it wasn't something that ever became part of my lifestyle. The suburbs weren't friendly to kids on bikes, in general, especially someone who tried to always play it safe like me. 

Once I got on that first road bike, it happened instantly: I was so happy to ride...it felt like flying. The freedom, fresh air, joy, everything. It was amazing. How'd I live for so long without it? 

Only a few short weeks after I got the bike, it was my birthday. That night I went riding with the Wednesday night ladies group who always rode together. It poured the rain and we were somewhere miles from where we'd originated. But we rode through it and got back soaking wet, but happy. That evening when I was on the bike, I remember the feeling of true elation: there was no other place I'd rather be than on that bike. I was alive and it was good to know how that felt. That was 8 years ago now.

Now I feel it is time to have a truly cool bike, one that rides great and fits me. By this, I mean in style and in geometry and I don't care to see another bike like mine on the road. Ever. At this stage in my life, when I buy something, it needs to be right, or I will wait. 

This is where the trouble comes in. I have waited to commit to getting this new dream bike thinking that one magical day, I would sit down and figure out what the perfect bike will look like. (I'm only talking about paint/decals, etc., not the actual design of it.) Unfortunately, I never have a whole day in which to sit and ponder. Being a deadline-driven sort of person, and with my current road bike that rolls just fine, there is no "deadline" staring me in the face. I skip hilly races, that is the one thing my current road bike limits me from doing. I know it's holding me back sprinting, but that isn't too critical, especially if I'm just trying to keep up with the guys.

Case in point: my kitchen island. I found the glass that's on the island (shown below) two years prior to this island coming into existence. A perfectly good card table was used in the interim. Yes, here's me drawing a comparison between a steel road bike and a card table. Forgive the analogy.

Back to the island: I knew the glass was perfect for the island (it had been the surface to a coffee table), but I didn't have a clue as to what the base would look like or even what material would be needed.

Long story short, it took two years for me to find myself in a welding shop where I learned how to weld and the design only then came to life. This was my first project after I'd decided to stop chasing the dream of being a pro bike racer and have a little time on the weekends for something other than training. In a way, it was swapping one form of fulfillment with another. Note the steel with copper braised into it on the right wasn't part of the design. It was a mistake turned into a neat feature.

That's the beauty of creativity--being okay with not knowing the exact end result, but modifying and adjusting as challenges are placed in the way and coming out with something far better in the end than what had been originally planned.

It's going in knowing perfection isn't the end goal: it's solving the problem and being able to deal with the speed bumps gracefully as they present themselves.

So this is what I'm facing with the bicycle. I want the next bike to be really cool. Wildly cool. It needs to be not just the bike that rides well, but one that is clearly mine by design. There are other parameters, too, but these are the ones most relevant to this discussion. This bike needs to be the one I can never sell because it will be right for me forever. It won't be the perfect bike for everything, of course, but it will be the road bike of my dreams. I know that now, I just don't know what it will look like when it is done. The deadline now exists & friends are offering their opinions.

I wrote this post back on July 12th--that was the day when I finally decided to say it out-loud and commit that I would be getting the bike. So what bike am I talking about, anyhow?

I did a week-long test ride of the Seven Axiom SL, full-titanium frame, custom built for someone not all that different from me in size. I couldn't believe the quality of the ride and the speed of the bike. It was even better road feel than steel (which is tough to do because steel has such good road feel) and was almost just as light and responsive as my race carbon-fiber bike. It didn't have the serious snap of carbon-fiber, but that snap for me means not wanting to ride day after day in the saddle. I remember hating my carbon-fiber bike after a long road ride. After a time trial, I'd have to work hard to convince myself to get back on again the next day. I rode the Axiom SL really hard in a five-day time trial race and every day my body felt just as good as it did the day before (where it comes to sitting in the saddle). Unreal! The bike helped me win a week-long time trial that involved all sorts of climbing and all solo riding. I took the bike through the paces and it felt incredible. It even let me hit potholes without quivering. That sort of handling translates to a safer ride, too. I didn't expect to see the differences like I did, but it was significant. It was pretty obvious to me that after the test ride, that this is the ideal bike for me.

Now it's mid-October and am making final decisions on the paint design. The bike is built: the guy who built it told me so today. Now it's a matter of days before this bike rolls out of the factory shining, asking never to be ridden in rain. I will want to promise it that it will never be ridden in bad weather or over a pothole. Alas, it will be. But we're going to have some pretty awesome times together exploring the world and getting dirty together.

Deliberately Riding Dirt

Every year on my birthday, I go out in search for something that is a nice token of a good way to look at the coming year. I try to take some time to take a glance back to the previous year (always wondering where the time went but yet wonder also how I was able to squeeze everything in) and then think about what's coming up.

Eight years ago (on my b-day), I had just gotten my first road bike a few weeks prior and I went on a great group ride where I ended up getting soaked by a surprise storm. I celebrated being out there, feeling alive on the bike; I knew there was no better place to have been that night.

This year I was fortunate to be able to go on a wonderful 70-mile ride with a group of friends and finish the ride having breakfast with my uncle, bro and friend (who was wise to sleep in & show up to breakfast in street clothes). To have the guys in town over the weekend was a treat. The sun shined all day and that was welcome, naturally.

We ended up at Walden Pond later in the day, thus the Thoreau quotes. I relate the time I spend on the bike with the above quote. To me, it's my time away from the static of daily life. Bike time gets me into nature, in touch with friends and it is quality time to be alone, too. It allows me to feel the sensation of living and being deliberate about it.

There has never been a time when I've ridden where, once I was finished, I didn't feel somehow renewed, happier and left with a better perspective.

I've mentioned so many trips and experiences in this blog through time of all of the places I've gone, people I've met and things I've done that would definitely have never have happened if I hadn't had a bike and a reasonable "excuse" to travel to out-of-the-way towns, back roads and even wind through familiar neighborhoods, but at a much slower pace being able to say "hello" to people outside and imbibing the fresh air into my soul.

I keep expecting the amazing times on the bike to end - like there should be a time when, after having ridden the best ride, that all of the others will pale in comparison and then it should be time to switch leisure time activities. But it doesn't happen, I am confident now that it won't. Having the best ride ever doesn't seem to cast a shadow on the ones following it--somehow the memory of it adds to every experience thereafter.

A trip through the Concord museum found me unable to resist purchasing this journal, the b-day gift to myself.

This year this is exactly what I am doing: going confidently in the direction of my dreams and living the life I've imagined. Both. You're likely to think I have been doing this all along. Yes, to an extent that is true, but not entirely. I went to Italy because I knew I needed to--I was living the dream many others have had. It wasn't ever a dream to me to live in Italy, though once I was there, I realized I was living a dream in many senses and I appreciated very, very much that I had the opportunity to be there. So much of that experience has gotten me here to where I am now.

My dreams from long ago have changed only a little as I've grown older, and there are many basic elements that are what they have always been. This year, the path to those dreams has been clearly set before me. It's a dirt road; there are bumps to be navigated over and around...but this is yet another amazing place the bike is taking me with an outstanding group of people. I'm having fun on this ride, pedaling without hesitation knowing I'm headed to where I need to go and am going to get there.

Allez.

Blog catch-up

I shouldn't be blogging right now. There are many other blog posts which have been written but I haven't felt like publishing to the general public. Forgive me for wanting to take the blog in a direction other than a what-am-I-up-to blog...and then finding that everything goes right back to what I'm thinking or doing so I choose not to publish the article. It's the trick of making a semi-personal journal online instead of taking pen to paper like the good ol' days.

Because I can't sleep and I have a whole bunch of other things to get done, I will write, again about racing. Because I'm not publishing the posts previously mentioned, here's a quick summary of what they are all about:

1 - Current Progress of the Great Test Riding. After taking a bunch of bikes out for test rides, I have determined that titanium is the sweetest material known to man for a bike frame. The other half of this is I'd like my dream ti Seven bike, but figuring out if it should be painted or remain unpainted is holding me back from making a decision.

2 - There are numerous posts about how I've been searching for a good project. It was really starting to bug me that I wasn't getting my hands dirty with anything. Well, somehow it came to be - I found it in the form of a whole new life focus & job change, more details forthcoming once it's in place.

3 - Visit with my aunt, uncle and cousins in upstate NY a few weekends ago. Just the absolutely best time with everyone and a true vacation. Was so neat to drive to NY in just a few short hours and magically be there. Still used to things being so far away, but here, everything is always closer than they appear.

4 - Raced weekend before last with the A/B (combined fields) men, 60 total racers, two other women. Took home a $30 prime and a serious race-high from being able to hang with the average 27 mph field, as well as attempting to get in a break, causing the bike to go 35-40 mph for 3/4 of a lap. Fastest race of my life. Finished in the top 1/3rd and enjoyed meeting guy teammates, too. Racing with the men is far more to my liking than the women, even though the women here are very nice from what I've seen so far.

5 - Birthday weekend this past week with uncle and bro. Seriously good time, a little of everything to give them both a great sample of life here near Boston.

6 - Raced tonight with a solid group of fast women. Due to very challenging work/sleep/other schedule lately, decided there would be no way to do the race, but would be best to just watch the men's race. Somehow got talked into it and was very happy to be out there. It's Wed, so did the 6 am training ride this morning for two hours. Also, got to the race with just enough time to change out cassette to proper race wheels. Long story short, it was a fun race where I tried playing near the front while staying safe most of the race and I came in 9th...basically, racing is so much more fun than I ever remember it being in the past, though I'd tell you in the past that it was fun (how could it have been? I was always in the back of the pack suffering like a dog.)

That's all folks!

Race Report

There are two words I didn't know I'd ever put together again: race report! I hardly feel the race last Sunday is something giving the blow-by-blow on, but the fact that last Sunday happened is what is significant.

Last week was full of fear-facing. I stared it in the face and saw who flinched. Not I. Er, well, outwardly I didn't. Inside was a different story, as it always is. Facing fears doesn't mean not being afraid, but getting through it and, hopefully, feeling less the next time.

Last summer of racing Italian Gran Fondos never felt quite the same as racing an American criterium. They were so much fun, but there wasn't much fear of getting dropped or of not doing well as neither of those two things could ever happen. If that's confusing, I'll explain offline, but it's true.

Racing a men's criterium (cat 3/4 men, mostly) is a whole other scenario. I used to train really hard to feel ready to take on such a race. Granted, training hard often meant resting well. I didn't train too hard, but how many intervals were there when I used to train for real? Last weekend, I went into the race with the prep of many fun rides with friends. Maybe it's all of the rollers here that are what added up to be good training, who knows. But it's been ages since I've done a real training ride or a set of intervals.

It's compelling to write this only because I've found it really fun to go back to the earliest entries in this blog and read them. My experiences from racing and training (this includes the fun rides!) have added so much to my life throughout the years, it's nice to capture the moments and how I'm thinking about them as they're happening. Memory does change the story somewhat.

The long and short of the race is this: my goal going into the race was to not get dropped. When I'm scared of getting dropped, I ride like a maniac to stay up front so my position was pretty good most of the race. They called a women's prime (meaning only women could contend to win it) and I used that as drag-race-sprint practice. Too bad there was a girl on my wheel who was able to pull around me. But at that point, we were way off the front of the field. So I kept going. Yeah, I know that wasn't smart, I wasn't trying to race smart. I will attempt that when there are real prizes at stake (more than a muffin, though they looked tasty). If there's one thing my coach taught me that has served well is that when it's not an "A" race, experiment. An attack group came up after a lap and, digging deep, I caught onto their train. We weren't away too long and the field caught up. Around and around we went, each lap was short with only a small rise in the road and hardly a corner to worry about. There were attacks and at times I would catch onto a small break. Even went to the front and pulled. (I know that's not smart racing, but the guys were yelling at the people at the front to pull, so I thought it would be amusing to play along with their request).

The race ended (1 hr long, avg 24 mph) with staying safe and finishing in the first third to half (have no idea where, exactly). The point was, I am back racing and it feels very good to be back, though this time, I am committed to keeping a much better balance. Balance: some racing, lots of fun rides with friends, time in street clothes doing good things in work and life. This is what I need and it just so also happens to be my definition of happiness.