Racing.

What is it about racing? It's addictive, like really, really addictive. Riding is addictive, too, but in a different way completely.

This past Sunday I got to go to a cross race (as a spectator), I blogged about that a couple of days ago. And here I am blogging about it yet again. Beating a dead horse? Maybe, but there's more to it. These are thoughts I have to somehow try to capture before they vanish and I move on with my life forever forgetting the unique feelings surrounding this past weekend.

In essence, I realized how much I feel at home at a race. It could be seeing familiar faces, but there was a time when I went to races and I didn't know anyone and enjoyed it just the same. When I first started racing, I'd go to races not knowing anyone, I raced alone and then spent hours watching the rest of the races. I'd cheer for a familiar jersey, but essentially I was alone and having a great time. I felt a sense of belonging there. As much time as it wasted, it felt like it was time well spent.

There's something about the people, the scene, something. It's universal and found everywhere so far I've looked. I don't particularly like to be a spectator at much of any other sport or activity (ice hockey being a rare exception) and I don't like attending fairs or festivals (though curiosity will often get me out for a couple of minutes, but I don't like to stay long.

Just one of hundreds of fans out spectating a CX race in Boulder in 2009 (Grand Prix of Cyclocross). It was a long trip just to watch people I didn't know ride their bikes. I remember how glorious that day was and how glad I was to have been there.

Before I ever raced or even rode a bike, I liked watching races and enjoyed going out to them (once I realized it was a sport - yeah, it took awhile). Of course, I prefer to go and compete. CX and mountain bike races are an exception because it's nice to not be nervous about it - just watching and cheering is better. But I'm thinking more and more about getting back into racing and if I'm going to do it, I need to commit pretty soon to training for next season.

I have nothing to prove, nothing to gain. Yet I really feel the need to go back to being out there and being competitive once again.

To be continued...